Quote of the day

[hondawasaki]

This quote was from a filthy coworker, who was in the process of putting a waterpump on a '98 chev malibu with a 2.4 4 cyl........

"I feel like I just gave a two armed enigma to a grease shiiting elephant"

I was thinking that it was a great thats what she said joke!

feel free to add your own!

[Yamada]

A couple years ago my uncle and my also replaced a water pump on a GM 2.4 4 cyl engine. Probably the worst engineering I've seen to this day....
It was like trying to give reanimation to a fried chicken. It was not worth it.

[The Goat]

I LOVED MY 2.4L in my 97 grand am...beyond bulletproof....


a few quotes from chat yesterday...

"I pamper my vagina, and I love it deeply."
"How exactly do you tuck a mangina?"

[Name Brand]

An enigma? Or did she mean to say something similar sounding?


One of our young guys just sets himself up for failure;

Someone came in our work area and exclaimed, "It smells like faggot in here!"
Thinking he was being clever the young guy yelled back, "That's cause I farted!"

Silence and then uncontrollable laughter from the eight other people in the room, including the 1SG!

[Mosh]

"The reason these cars are so hard to work on, Is becuase some mechanic was doing an engineer's wife...And this is our payback"

[outtaline]

I took 8 guys tuna fishing for 3 days about 10yrs ago when we got back to the dock we were all splattered with blood from the fish nobody brought enough close. I stepped onto the dock and one of the old timers handed me a beer and said "Shot at and missed sh!t on and hit" then he turned and walked away without another word. Funny part is I worked there for 3 yrs and that is the only thing he ever said to me.

[johnny's X]

a man and a woman are in the woods having sex after about 10 minutes that man say damn I wish I had a flashlight. The woman say me to you have been eating grass for the past 10 minutes

[Name Brand]

Outtaline -

I've seen that one before!

http://www.nametags4u.com/cgi-bin/wwlist.cgi?pm=VP&id=3VSC1019

They've also got it on velcro patches and different colors.

[TrailerRider]

An enigma? Or did she mean to say something similar sounding?


One of our young guys just sets himself up for failure;

Someone came in our work area and exclaimed, "It smells like faggot in here!"
Thinking he was being clever the young guy yelled back, "That's cause I farted!"

Silence and then uncontrollable laughter from the eight other people in the room, including the 1SG!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Now that's funny! I bet the dude was like, Whats so funny?... oh dam.

[Bunnyhop]

After working a double my father used to say, "I feel like I been ate by a coyote and sh!t off a cliff!"

[Thorpe]

"He is the only bastage I know, that could fall into a barrel of tits, and come out sucking his thumb!" ---Grumpy (old sob I used to work with)

[keister]

^^^ Reminds me of another good one:
"He couldn't get a date in a womens prison if he had a fist full of pardons."

[fabiodriven]

A good one about a guy who skrews up alot-

"He could mess up a one-man parade!"

"Some days you get the bear, some days the bear gets you."

[Thorpe]

^^^ Similar... "He could F**K up a wet dream!"

[Macs]

When i was coming up in the Instrumentation field, i worked with this old man as his helper. Everytime i screwed something up he would say, " Boy, you could destroy an 8' ball bearing with a ball ping hammer".

This old man was hilarious. He had alot of sayings. Another one was, there was this lady that road a bike around the unit. Everytime the lady would pass he would say, " Boy, you know thats illegal dont you" and i would ask what? He would say" peddaling P@#$Y".

Ok one more...... We had this GF that was a real prick. He was yelling at the whole group and the old man stood up and said " are you one of those guys that like to sniff boys bicycle seats??? " We just laughed are butts off.

What was the hilarity of all his remarks is he didnt talk. He would go days without saying a word to anyone then pop up with stuff like this. He must have been in his 70's. He has passed now but he was the best instrument technician i have ever seen.

[outtaline]

:TrikesOwn and jb weld sucks" can't remember were I herd it

[Thorpe]

I wouldnt do her if she had 10 tits!

[Tri-ZNate]

"Geez, he must have put one too many scoops of sand in his vagina today"

[Thorpe]

Thats about as smart as a kick in the nuts....

[Thorpe]

Thats hotter than 2 rats f**cking in a wool sock!

[night4creeper]

that boy's as useful as a football bat.


worked with a guy that was full of 'em.
when someone would walk up and say something like whatcha doin'? His response would be either "jerkin off; wanna cum?" said real fast. or "greasin' my dickbeaters" The best part was most people wouldn't catch what he said.

[tanks350x]

He's about as sharp as a bag of wet mice

[wheelie king]

Thats about as smart as a kick in the nuts....

For Florida, these are popular with me:

"I am sweating like Mike Tyson at a Spelling Bee"

"I am sweating like Boy George eating a corn dog"

"Gawd, I am sweating like Elton John eating an ear of corn"

and finally-

"I am sweating like George Michael in a rest area bathroom"

Gotta love it..............:D

[Thorpe]

"He can be as ugly as a hatfull of a**holes for all i care, i dont want to sleep with the guy." --ForeverThreeWhe