just found out GF is facing foreclosure on her house.

[tri again]

Anyone know about gambling addiction?

It's a 3 yr old house by the lake, private 40 acre
worth 1/2 mil
Behind in pmts.
Found out today how bad it really is.

She looks good riding trikes too, hate to lose her.

Her smile is priceless around 3rd gear on that sx in the dunes.

[TheRealFatShady]

How new of a girlfriend? Easy for them to get you to spend big money to help them....but not always easy to tell if they're good quality and going to stick around.

[Chazz of Blades]

Ouch, thats gotta be a horrible thing to have sprung on you. I could see exactly why you'd have to lose her though, she's already losing what sounds like an awesome place due to her addiction, it doesn't bode well.


Look at it this way, a good relationship will usually last a few years. A Honda trike on the other hand will probably outlive you.

[tri again]

Thanks you guys.

I called the lottery hotline and I (we) apparently qualify for free counseling
because of aforementioned symptoms.

It's usually way over 100$ an hr.

Maybe I should loan her some (more) $$?

Like if you drink too much you can stop.

What does one recommend if a dear friend is just
self destructive?

so sad

[tri again]

How new of a girlfriend? Easy for them to get you to spend big money to help them....but not always easy to tell if they're good quality and going to stick around.

Thanks to you 2 rfs

She wanted to get married but instead, being the pri*&I am, put her name on my 650k$ house so she could get a loan.
Better than a 2$ shyphillus marriage license...yaaaad think!

Held my breath the whole time.

They say sometimes if you help people like that, you make it all worse.

LET the power get turned off, do NOT loan them $$ etc etc.

Oh well, at least I keep MY farm and all the silly trikes.

We're also looking at pulling 30 grand for the 2nd weekend in July, so
now is not the time for chicksh&^,

FREE admission for all 3ww people. btw

we have 42 miles of dunes at the beach in Oregon, trike friendly, and 40 miles from the festival.

It's called oregoncountryfair.com
if anyone is out here on vacation.

[yooperman]

Just like you said man its a addiction, she needs the profesional help. I have acouple family members who went pretty much the same thing you are. It takes a lot of work just like any addiction, but its obviouse ya love her you put her on you house, so just work with her and be supportive buddy it will work out.

[JayBone]

Good luck!!! Not being sarcastic..

[jb2wheels]

This will sound cold but - get out while you can. Do not get in any deeper. No more $$ to her.
Everything you're doing now is enabling her. Her addiction comes first.
Sorry...

[plastikosmd]

It is just like any other addiction. It never sounds that bad. Drugs and alcohol are horrible but they ruin the person taking them first, least before the stealing starts, then u see what a gambler can do. That addiction brings u down just by association. Get ready for a lot of fights, debt and the stress that brings, more fights, the feeling u are a constant babysitter, always saying NO, more fights etc. In the end u are ruined and they are no different. Good luck

[Bretmd94]

Wow, you put her name on your house??? I think you need to be the man in the relationship. Give her a place to stay, maybe. She needs to take responsibility and the punishment for what she did. Helping her like your doing is letting her off easy. I really doubt she will learn to control her addictions by you enabling her. I have a feeling that your going to be paying next time around.

If you love her this much, why can't she live with you while she gets her self together?

[mrmello]

I wouldnt say dump her.

I would protect yourself if I was you though. If you can get her name off your house, bank accounts etc. Your credit could be harmed. Give her a place to live, but then valuables could end up in pawn etc. Gambeling is a very rough addiction to anyone that is involved, family close friends etc.

Sometimes all the addict can think about is how to get the money to play. They dont think about who it would hurt. They will steal, rob etc to get the money that is needed. I have never understood the addiction but have witnessed a gambeling addict in action and its not pretty.

Best thing is professional help for her and you. You have to learn that bailing her out is only enabeling her to gamble more because in her mind you will be there to help again. You can still see her etc but just dont help. It would be worth it in the end for both you and her.

[dcreel]

I wouldnt say dump her.

I would protect yourself if I was you though. If you can get her name off your house, bank accounts etc. Your credit could be harmed. Give her a place to live, but then valuables could end up in pawn etc. Gambeling is a very rough addiction to anyone that is involved, family close friends etc.

Sometimes all the addict can think about is how to get the money to play. They dont think about who it would hurt. They will steal, rob etc to get the money that is needed. I have never understood the addiction but have witnessed a gambeling addict in action and its not pretty.

Best thing is professional help for her and you. You have to learn that bailing her out is only enabeling her to gamble more because in her mind you will be there to help again. You can still see her etc but just dont help. It would be worth it in the end for both you and her.

I agree with this 100%

[Tri-Z 250]

Listen...I'm in the title business, Quit Claim her name off your deed today. You can prepare the document yourself, just need a notery to acknowledge the signatures...the bank has someone free of charge. The loan is defunk...how she established credit is of ZERO consern. It is only a trail to a source of payment. Now if you feel the market is strong enough, you could loan her 4mths of backpayment. It would take some paper work but you then need to be put on her deed with a land payment contract that takes a 2nd to the 1st mtg. IF you go this route, taxes and payment for the home become 1/2 your responsiblity. Depending on your state you may not be exempt on transfer....meaning taxes per 1000 based on county tax evaluation. Just because no $ is exchanged...she's NOT a spouce, child or parent. So she's look at as an investor in the property...they may want 1/2 the convance. DID YOU KNOW THAT? You can ad as many names as you want for free...try and remove them, always cost $. I deal with Boyfriends who put girlfriends on deeds...they pay everytime. Did you also know she can loan against your property now...oh I mean 1/2 her property?

I watched my wife's Aunt blow 1.6mil in less than 4yrs....she came from nothing to be given it to her from passed away step-family. She complains everyday she broke...but never misses bingo. The best is her Compcard...in the last 1yr the Casino has offered her nothing...she hasn't spent a dollar in 2yrs in their faclities. Best of Luck

[Chazz of Blades]

TRI-Z 250 IS CORRECT!!


You've been given good advice here, and me personally I'd run like hell til I couldn't see the smoke anymore. You are in a dangerous situation here, and not just your property and trikes are in danger, but your entire way of life as well. I'd get everything back in your name and run like a madman.

[dksix]

I had a gambling problem when I was younger. Went through my inheritance from my father and ruined myself financially for a number of years. I read a about a study once that showed a low percentage of the US population had a genetic defect that when gambling the body would release endorphins similar to the ones released when doing heroin. I don't have a problem now, 15 years later, but I do understand how it can happen. Someone who doesn't have an addiction can't understand it. I partied allot growing up but never had a drug or alcohol issues, if I wanted to I did and if I didn't I just didn't. As far as gambling, I won't even play Skill Crane cause I could go through $100 worth of quarters in a half hour. There is no managing an addiction, it's all or nothing.

[Dirtcrasher]

I'll never put anyone's name on my home, especially someone with issues.

The "love of my life theory" ship has sank.

Maybe it's because I'm getting older but I've learned that helping people who can't help themselves (even in the trike world) is just a waste of time!!

Good luck.........

[dcreel]

I married a girl who said she was pregnant with my baby. 2 weeks later she split with around $3K cash from my bank. Moral to the story is that you never really KNOW somebody. YOU can't fix anybody. Taking on their debt is definitely not going to help you in the long run. Adding her to your note was a bad idea. I also had an ex wife quit paying her car note so they picked up her car and mine. I got to sell my good car to keep her ran into the ground car, and not let me credit go too bad.

Life is a trailprotrailprotrailprotrailprotrailpro, take care of yourself..

[cr480r]

From what i've seen most relationships with women are risky and foolish. But if you love her and enjoy her company then keeping her in your life is a choice you'll have to make for yourself. Just know that this could have a nasty ending and make the proper steps to protect yourself financially. What you chose to give or provide for her is your choice, but don't put your fortune at unnecessary risk. She obviously couldn't manage her own money, so you damn sure don't want her having access to yours. Doesn't necessarily mean you can't have a successful relationship, in fact it's better IMO.

[yooperman]

lots of good advice here from people that been through lots of crappy situations but i think this is one of those situations, you should sit her down with talk to her about. because its like most anything thing you search on th internet your gonna get the worst case situations, this is one of those tough personal life choice your going to have to work through either just you or you and her. not a trike forum no offense to any of you guys on this thread or forum lots of great experiance and people on this site. so just to say it again i mean no slams or disrespect to you or anybody on this forum just my thoughts.

[tri again]

I am stunned.

Didn't really expect this topic to be so , well, everything.
or at least, even responded to.

I have an estute grasp of the obvious, or need one for sure.

also very familiar with triage and xrays/--scans whatever.
but I usually don't get to see what causes it.
Like the car wreck or the accident.

It's images on film to me.

2 dimensional plane (planar) flat black and white.Even those
can make me cringe after all these years. What caused the problem is not the
prime concern. during triage'.
Check for blood leaking,
blow air into the lungs before you do chest compressions for heart pump
circulation.

( I think I'd rather have someone pump my heart if they found me motionless but they say
oxygen first then chest compressions.)

anyway............

...so I tell a lil' story to a bunch of cool people from around the whirled,
and an aspect of true humanity helps us all grow
and evolve.

What a pain in the ##$@ss.

And we thought trikes were easy to fix.

(thanks everyone)

[300rman]

Protect yourself.....take her name off of your stuff so she cant ruin your credit. In not saying dont help her, but WATCH yourself so that if she cant be helped, at least she wont drag you down with her. I bet losing everything you own because some girl gambled herself into oblivion would really kill you mentally.

On the other hand, if she managed to win millions, make sure you get a few million and stash it somewhere so when she gambles it all away, you are still set for life.

[atc007]

All great advice. You really cannot be TOO careful at this point. If SHE loves YOU as much,,as you love her,,she will understand YOU protecting yourself. SHE should be happy for your hand held out. Good luck to BOTH of you !!

[2ontheground]

So let me get this right, she's a NEW girlfriend yet you put her name on your property AND she wants to get married. How new is this relationship? Doesn't quit sound that new.

I had a cousin who started gambling, turned out after getting some counseling that she started gambling because her personal life was in chaos. She gambled more to escape from her problems than to hope she hit the "big one". Once she realized this and with support from those that loved her, she was able to quit gambling and get her life back on track.

Not all things are as they seem and there are two sides to every story.

[tri again]

So let me get this right, she's a NEW girlfriend yet you put her name on your property AND she wants to get married. How new is this relationship? Doesn't quit sound that new.

I had a cousin who started gambling, turned out after getting some counseling that she started gambling because her personal life was in chaos. She gambled more to escape from her problems than to hope she hit the "big one". Once she realized this and with support from those that loved her, she was able to quit gambling and get her life back on track.

Not all things are as they seem and there are two sides to every story.

Hey Thanks for the encouragement.

New is relative. When young, new may be a month or 2.
My age? a year or so.

I am very familial with chaos and crisis addiction.
If enough things aren't going wrong, or there aren't enough heath
problems to brag about, people will create situations,
not unlike being 'accident prone'.

If that's still not enough, they watch it in movies,
hospital shows and phones ringing and the worst of the worst of
human drama.

Peace to me is the Absence of chaos...and THEN the freedom to
enjoy fun things like trikes at the dunes.

The sad thing is that some people with those tendecies tend to take
out a whole bunch of people around them.
Everyone is concerned, friends are not sure what to do.
"Helping' often makes things worse, and there are people
who devote their lives to addiction therapy with PhD degrees
and Their fail rate is over 90%.

Glad to hear your situation had a nice clean resolve..maybe because it all made
good sense.

Welcome to the coolest trike site on the planet.
(and thanks again, nice to know there's hope)

[MyMistress86R]

I have less than a 600 credit score, a $25,000+ debt to my parents and a divorce which cost me 2 of my children all because of my ex-wife's gambling problem...you do the math.

[tri again]

I have less than a 600 credit score, a $25,000+ debt to my parents and a divorce which cost me 2 of my children all because of my ex-wife's gambling problem...you do the math.

I feelpain from your story.

Wrapped in the moment in my situation,
I never imagined the 'end' result from any of this but your story
says it all.

Hopefully you can bounce off the bottom and start accumulating positives.
Credit creeps back up, and faster with a few tricks.
One of the most annoying things in my life forced me to
patent and get an FDA 'approval' which eventually got stolen
BUT got me out of debt and on the 'dead broke', but up side.

Kids, even young ones, know who loves them no matter who says what.
I swear they are telepathic.

Hang in there and keep the faith.

[daniel_250r]

1.she better look like a super model
2. do you realize what you have done you fool!