Disappointing zoo visit

[tripledog]

I went to the zoo last Saturday, and all they had there was a dog. It was a Shi-tzu.

[tripledog]

[QUOTE=Jd110;1407941]Is this some sort of joke.....?

Perhaps better told than typed.

[ironchop]

Perhaps better told than typed.
Skype that sheet, yo!

Inflection is a real mo#$@*-+er online

Sent from my Z998 using Tapatalk

[onformula1]

I went to the zoo last Saturday, and all they had there was a dog. It was a Shi-tzu.

Pretty funny, it's tough to tell joke by typing, see-

A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two-foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says,'I suppose you won't be needing a drink.' Naked lady says...

[Scootertrash]

Pretty funny, it's tough to tell joke by typing, see-

A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two-foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says,'I suppose you won't be needing a drink.' Naked lady says...


Well? Don't think I've heard this one before

[greenhuman]

My friend the trucker was taking a load of monkeys to the zoo when his truck broke down. He was standing next to his truck wondering what he should do when another bloke in a truck he knew pulled up and asked him what was going on. My mate said he had to take this load of monkeys to the zoo in Sydney but his truck was broken down. He asked the other bloke if he would take them for him and of course he said he would and off he went with the monkeys. A few hours later my mate was driving through Sydney after his truck was repaired and there he sees the other trucker walking down the sidewalk holding hands with a monkey and all the other monkeys holdings hands in line. My mate stops and yells out what the hell was he doing? I asked you to take them monkeys to the zoo! The other guy says I did take them to the zoo but now the little fu*kers want to go to the movies.

[RIDE-RED 250r]

Why don't chicken breasts have nipples?????


























Because they would poke holes in the package when they get cold! :D

[tripledog]

^^^ I always wondered how boneless chickens procreate.

[onformula1]

A blonde woman walks into a store and is immediately curious about a shiny object on sale. She asks the shop assistant, 'What is that?' The assistant responds, 'It's a thermos.' The blonde then asks, 'What does it do?' 'It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.' So the blonde buys one. The next day she brings the thermos to work with her. Her boss, also a blonde, asks, 'What is the shiny object?' 'It's a thermos.' 'What does it do?' 'It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.' Her boss then asks, 'What do you have in there?' The blonde replies, 'Two cups of coffee and a Popsicle.'

[tripledog]

^^^ That joke was like the blonde leading the blonde.

[Scootertrash]

A blonde has her car damaged in a hail storm, so she takes it to the body shop for an estimate. The body shop tech, seeing she's a blonde, decides to mess with her a little bit.

He tells her: "You can save some money if you just do it yourself"

"How do I do that?" she asks

He says "Go home and let the car cool down. Once the car is cooled off, you can remove the dents by blowing into the exhaust pipe."

The blonde thanks the tech, and heads home to fix her car with her new-found knowledge.

She's in her driveway blowing into the exhaust pipe with all of her might to no avail. Just then her friend, who is also a Blonde, stops by.

Her friends asks "What are you doing?"

The first Blonde says "Well, the guy at the body shop told me I could get all these hail dents out by blowing into the exhaust pipe, but it's not working."

Her friend says "Of course not silly, you need to roll the windows up first!"

[coolpool]

What are three things in life that don't lie?

Kids

Drunks

and Leggings! Botta Bing!

[Jd110]

Have to admit. Got a little wild at my 1st zoo visit. Was not aware the animals were so tame. Hope I didn't anger you in with a little cage rattle. I'll take baby steps.
What do you get when you cross an elephant + rhino?







Elephino

[tripledog]

^^^ I remember my first zoo visit. I couldn't believe that many people came to see ME...

[onformula1]

How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?

Terrier-fied.

If your dog jumped into a swimming pool, what is the first thing he would do?

Get wet.

[tripledog]

Cocker Spaniel? You brought her, you Cocker Spaniel!

[onformula1]

I spend three minutes every 
day choosing a TV channel 
to leave on for my dog. Then 
I go to work, and people take me seriously as an adult. :lol:

I tell ya, my dog is lazy. He don’t chase cars. He sits on the curb and takes down license plate numbers. :lol:

[Jmoozy27]

Not sure if y'all are famiar with Boudreaux & Thibodaux jokes... Enjoy...

One morning Thibodeaux was sitting on his dock enjoying the sunrise when Boudreaux pulls up in his boat filled with duct tape. Thibodeaux looks at him, and asks "what you doing with a boat full of duct tape?" Boudreaux replied, "I'm going duck hunting! You wanna come?" "You can't hunt ducks with duct tape, and no I ain't coming" replied Thibodeaux. So Boudreaux leaves. Later in the day Thibodeaux sees Boudreaux fly by in his boat, and low and behold its full of ducks. "Well i'll be damned!" says Thibodeaux.
The next morning as Thibodeaux is enjoying the sunrise, Boudreaux pulls up in his boat again, this time with a boat full of gatorade. Sarcastically Thibodeaux says "Let me guess, you gonna catch gators with gatorade?" "Yep, you wanna come?" says Boudreaux. "You can't catch gators with gatorade...No I ain't coming!" So Boudreaux leaves. Later that day Thibodeaux sees Boudreaux fly by in his boat, and it was filled with gators. "Well i'll be damned!" says Thibodeaux.
The next morning as Thibodeaux is enjoying the sunrise, Boudreaux pulls up in his boat agian...this time with a boat full of pussy willows. Thibodeaux thinks for a second and says..."Hold on let me get my hat"