Today I buried my dog.

[wild200x]

Been a crappy day. Cinder was a 12 year old female German Shepherd dog. She was old and falling apart. Last night around dinner time she came in the house and suddenly fell hard and could not get back up. I think she may have had a stroke. She changed that instant. once we got here up she wondered like she did not know the place and kept falling. Today I called many many vets and clinics to try and get her in and put her to sleep. They were all "so sorry to hear that" but none could make room till Monday or Tuesday. I called a good friend a few towns down I 15 in Springville. Told him I was gonna head west and do the dead. He explained that it would be much better to come get him and go up that mountain where we hunt (Diamond Fork). He offered to do the dead for me so that I would not have to. After some talk I accepted this and drove an hour with cinder in the back seats in my truck to get him and we went up. We dug a grave and I got a few minutes with my dog. Then I walked down the hill a ways and heard pop. He covered her in the grave and then I came back up and helped bury my dog. I know most ppl probably would not write this out to tell all those he does not know well. But I must say it feels very good to write about it. And if you read this, Thanks you. I am at peace. She was the most stubborn dog I ever had. And I have had many. The most protective dog too. Our house is now not as well protected. I will miss that dog.

[ATC King]

Your not alone. I've put someone else's dog down for them.

Just the way it is sometimes. It doesn't make it easier, but at least someone was willing to do that for you.

Animals, and people, shouldn't have to needlessly suffer when it's clear there is no other alternative.

Thanks for sharing.

[El Camexican]

You're not the first person to share their pets last days on here and you won't be the last. Typing feelings out can help at times like this and that's all that matters.

12 years is a good run for a Shepard, remember them fondly :beer

[90nut]

I've been down your road before. It's a tough row to hoe. I'm am currently in a similar situation with my aging basset hound. Hes still in good spirits, but went downhill bigtime overnight. I'm sorry for your loss.

[knappyfeet]

Sorry for your loss.

My female shepherd was 13......I called peacefulpetpassing and they come to the house. She hated the vet and I didn't want her last moments there.... and I remember a customer telling me about them when she use them for her pug. God bless them for being here because I could never do what you did.

Again sorry.

[plastikosmd]

So sorry for your loss
It hurts

[wild200x]

I've been down your road before. It's a tough row to hoe. I'm am currently in a similar situation with my aging basset hound. Hes still in good spirits, but went downhill bigtime overnight. I'm sorry for your loss.

So sorry for that. I hope you and yours are okay. I hate this.

[wild200x]

Sorry for your loss.

My female shepherd was 13......I called peacefulpetpassing and they come to the house. She hated the vet and I didn't want her last moments there.... and I remember a customer telling me about them when she use them for her pug. God bless them for being here because I could never do what you did.

Again sorry.

I wish I had known about this. Thanks for the input. All in all it did not go badly. Just the day and all the calls leading up to that. That lack of anyone that could help her not suffer. One would think you could find one place with enough compassion to work ya in...as man times as I heard "so so sorry to hear". But nobody true to that word. Truth is though as much pain as she was in, I think she understood what was up. she smiled most the day. She did not bark and threaten my friends. Very uncommon for her. Just smiled at them.

[ATC King]

One would think you could find one place with enough compassion to work ya in...as man times as I heard "so so sorry to hear". But nobody true to that word.

Most shelters are overrun because of irresponsible owners who either don't have a stable home to raise a pet, or don't spay and neuter them and dump the little ones first chance they get. The shelters are usually low on funds, volunteers, and employees.

Look at all the animals in the free section of Craigslist. If that wouldn't be an OK way to pawn off a human child, then it isn't OK for pets to be treated that way either.

Although it may have been disappointing in the moment, shelters usually do the best they can and I can imagine it becomes depressing for many of them to regularly put down unwanted animals.

[HairyJR]

Sorry for your loss, although it hurts you know you did the right thing. Our animals become family and we want the best for them.

"HJ" 266661 :beer

[Joseph Farrow]

Sorry for you loss. They are members of our family. I am coming up on three years since I lost my best friend Beau. I think about him almost every day.

[wild200x]

Most shelters are overrun because of irresponsible owners who either don't have a stable home to raise a pet, or don't spay and neuter them and dump the little ones first chance they get. The shelters are usually low on funds, volunteers, and employees.

Look at all the animals in the free section of Craigslist. If that wouldn't be an OK way to pawn off a human child, then it isn't OK for pets to be treated that way either.

Although it may have been disappointing in the moment, shelters usually do the best they can and I can imagine it becomes depressing for many of them to regularly put down unwanted animals.

I was not calling shelters. Veterinary clinics and hospitals. those who signed up.

[coolpool]

I've also had the unfortunate experience where you were and hated every minute of it. It's an experience that's tough to shake off; but given the circumstances presented to you, it was truly the best decision. Remember, you made a huge effort in trying to get support from the professionals who ultimately let you down.

RIP Cinder:(

[wild200x]

I've also had the unfortunate experience where you were and hated every minute of it. It's an experience that's tough to shake off; but given the circumstances presented to you, it was truly the best decision. Remember, you made a huge effort in trying to get support from the professionals who ultimately let you down.

RIP Cinder:(

Thank you. "you made a huge effort in trying to get support from the professionals who ultimately let you down". Thank you! I appreciate that you can see what I was trying to say.

[kb0nly]

Sorry to hear about it, condolences, its not easy.. Going through this feeling of loss myself right now, which is why i have been pretty absent on here the last month.

A week ago we had to say goodbye to our 9 year old Beagle, Bailey was a sweet dog, a very hard dog to forget, she was more a child then a pet, pet owners know what i mean. Every day has been tough, she was my daily cheer-up and alarm clock, woke me up right before my alarm every day, let us know exactly when it was meal times, every day just seems very odd without her. Our other dog seems kind of lost without her, he doesn't realize its meal time because he has always been pretty patient and just waited until you fed him or let him outside to do his business. This week he's been having accidents peeing on the floor because he holds it until he can't hold it no more, we are going back to just making him go every couple hours and reinforcing him to ask, as well as getting used to having to notice he is asking, because the one we lost was the household time keeper and scheduler, he would ask her to go out, no joke, he would bother her and get her wound up and running around and i would ask them if they needed something and they would run to the door. So i am failing him as much as he is having accidents by not realizing he asked in his own subtle way... We will get through it, a little remedial training for all of us and it will get back to normal.

I have lost human friends and family to cancer, now i lost Bailey to cancer. She was diagnosed with Lymphoma, which sounds like its pretty common in dogs unfortunately, all her lymph nodes swelled up, she had trouble swallowing because of her sore throat brought on by the lymph nodes swelling up, then she got a bit distended and it turned out it was her spleen that swelled up, and then she went anemic because of the cancer crashing her white count and platelets, and finally edema caused one back leg to start to swell up... We were managing the symptoms with diet changes and meds, but it was just a stop gap to keep her comfortable until they could diagnose it for sure, once we got the diagnosis it was another week or so and she started to crash, we had to carry her out to go potty, we had to feed her carefully, monitor her water intake, etc. We invited my wifes parents down for the weekend because they loved her like family to, we all got to say goodbye, and before she went from discomfort to pain we called the vet who is not only a big animal lover but also called Bailey one of the good ones and was always impressed with her and her visits to get an annual vaccination, and he offered to come in to the vet clinic at almost 10pm to meet us, we put her to rest, and even the vet was visibly moved by it. It's hard to let anyone go, loved furry members of the family are no different.

Still far from done grieving, and i can honestly say for my age its the most i have ever felt sad, depressed, and just downright in the dumps, and did i cry, hell yeah, you gotta let that emotion out or it eats you up inside. So while i wait for her ashes to come back to me, we paid for the private cremation and urn with plaque since we don't have pet burial services around here and we all decided we really just wanted her home, we are keeping busy, trying to work and keep from getting idle so we don't just sit and think about it. But its hard... really hard... And seeing our other dog go through the confusion of the loss is also hard, but you can bet hes getting a lot of attention and treats!

Sorry for the long post... Felt good writing it, and looks like i'm in the company of others that understand.

[wild200x]

Thank you very much for this long reply to this sad thread. I am so sorry man this sucks! I feel your pain. At first I felt a little foolish even posting this here. You all have helped me get over that and I appreciate it. Did I cry? A little when we were on our way up the mountain. Then nothing! Till yesterday. I turned into a blathering idiot. Telling my wife how sorry I was that I had to kill her dog. That I did not want to do it. Welling up again now. this is killing me. Cambria (my granddaughter that we raised for 8 years) has not seen her dog since early March last year. We can argue why if you like but I am sooo pissed off! The dog was Melissa's and Cambria's. But one (who also has Down Syndrome) did not even get to say goodbye. And I have no idea how she is taking this. Not to much communication between my son and I. To much anger over covid bullshit. I am really struggling. I do not mean to change the subject but in out case this bullshit has had a major impact on out family. The loss of Cinder right in the middle of the rest is just icing on an already burnt to a crisp cake. Have not seen my son or is family in almost a year. they are 15 minutes away. Sad and mad, Ted

[kb0nly]

You're welcome and sorry to hear the struggles you are going through, i hear it so much these days... I hear ya man.... This last year has been tough, the kids were having a hard time with school, grades were starting to suffer because of the BS learning plans they had while staying home instead of real time with teachers, schedules for everyone were messed up, my Wife works for the school so she has seen all year the struggling and pain by families just barely getting by both financially and mentally and it took a heck of a toll on her, and things were just starting to calm down for us here, school was opening back up, her daily stress was going down, my work is all from home and virtual anyway so the year for me was ok, even better financially as everyone moved to working from home and businesses needed people like me, but then just as things were getting better Bailey got sick, we camped out on a mattress in the living room floor and the couch for a month because we wanted to limit her going upstairs to bed, and we didn't want her to be alone because at that time we didn't even know what was making her sick, everything just went crazy the last month supporting her and keeping things as together as we could. Its somewhat of a relief that she is done with being uncomfortable and that she never got to being in daily pain, but we are all still coping with it.

I know about the outbursts of emotion, i was having a good day today, still missing her, then a memory would come to mind and i would be sad all over again. But i know it will get better, sadly i have been through this before, grieving sucks, but its a part of life. We are still pretty closed down here in MN, things are getting more open as time goes on, hoping to get back to a more normal soon and see friends and family more. But it just seems like a long road yet to get there with all this Covid crap going on.

Hang in there man, march on, and things will get better! I am keeping myself busy with little projects around the house and stuff i can work on, its been below zero air temps all week, so i haven't even went out to look at the ATC's, though i still have some projects to do on them. Maybe the coming weekend when we are supposed to get above zero.. I need more distractions.