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x.system
09-25-2005, 09:16 PM
Got this in an email tonight from a friend.

>This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Michigan
>Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan.
>
>
>This guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's letter before you get to the response letter.
>
>__________________________________________________ __________________________
>
>(State's letter) SUBJECT: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20;
>Montcalm County
>
>Dear Mr. DeVries:
>
>It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality
>that
>there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel
>of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or
>contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:
>
>Construction and maintenane o two Wood Debris Dams across the outlet
>stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of this
>type of activity.
>
>A review of the Department's files show that no permits have been issued.
>
>Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in
>violation
>of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and
>Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994,being
>sections 324! 30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated
>
>The Department has been informed that one or both of the Dams partially
>failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at
>downstream
>locations. We find that Dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and
>cannot be permitted.
>
>The Department therefore orders you to ceas anddesist all activities at
>this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by
>removing all wood and brush forming the Dams from the stream channel.
>
>All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31,2005.
>
>Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that
>a
>follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff.
>
>Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity
>on
>the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement
>action. We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this
>matter.
>
>Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.
>
>Sincerely,
>David L. Price
>District Representative, Land and Water Management Diviion&nsp;
>
>__________________________________________________ _________________
>
>This is the actual response sent back:
>
>
>
>Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County.
>
>Dear Mr. Price,
>
>Your certified letter dated 12/17/04 has been handed to me to respond in
>regarding to the above mentioned file.
>
>I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson,
>Michigan.
>
>A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of
>constructing
>and maintaining two wood "debris" Dams across the outlet stream of my
>Spring
>Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their Dam Project,
>I
>think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of
&t;natues building materials "debris." I would like to challenge your
>department to attempt to emulate their Dam Project any time and/or any
>place
>you choose.
>
>I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their
>Dam
>skills, their Dam resourcefulness, their Dam ingenuity, their Dam
>persistence, their Dam determination and/or their Dam work ethic.
>
>As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must
>first fill out a Dam Permit prior to the start of this type of Dam
>activity.
>
>My first Dam question to you is:
>
>(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers... or
>
>(2) Do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said
>Dam
>request?
>
>If you are not discriminting aginst these particular beavers, through
>The
>Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other
>applicable Beaver Dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will see
>if
>there really is a Dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of
>the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the
>Public
>Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan
>Compiled
>Laws, annotated.
>
>I have several concerns. My first concern is... aren't the beavers
>entitled
>to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute
>and are unable to pay for said representation, so the State will have to
>provide them with a Dam lawyer.
>
>The Department's Dam concern that either one or both of the Dams failed
>during arecent rain event causing flooding! Is proof that this is a
>natural
>occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other words,
>we
>should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and
>calling them Dam names.
>
>If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please
>contact the beavers, but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously
>did
>not pay any attention to your Dam letter... they being unable to read
>English.
>
>In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their
>unauthorized Dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water
>flows downstream. They have more Dam Rights than I do to live and enjoy
>Spring Pond.
>
>If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives&bsp;
&t;up
>to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the
>environment (Beavers' Dams). So, as far as the beavers and I are
>concerned,
>this Dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right
>now. Why wait until 1/31/2005? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the
>Dam
>ice then and there will be no way for you or your Dam Staff to harass them
>then.
>
>In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention a real
>environmental
>quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears are actually
>defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting
>the
>defecating bears and leave the beavers alone.
>
>If you are going to investigate the Beaver Dam, watch your step! (The
>bears
>are not careful where they dump!)nbsp;
&t;
>Being unable to comply with your Dam request, and being unable to contact
>you on your Dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your Dam
>Office.
>
>
>Thank You,
>Ryan DeVries & The Dam Beavers. :-)

hrc85250r
09-25-2005, 10:00 PM
haha, thats the type of letter i would send to some a$$hole that accused me of something stupid like that....clever guy,lol.....

freewheel3
09-25-2005, 10:31 PM
Now that is dam funny. It's so "dam" funny, I can hardly "bear" it. :lol:
Looks like the Canadian & American governments are alot more similar than I thought. :crazy:

petesatc
09-26-2005, 08:31 AM
hey Jim
that's mad :crazy:
what did the Dam department come back with?????? :D

Maine_Triker
09-26-2005, 01:58 PM
LOL that is too "dam" funny! :D

LonesomeTriZ
09-26-2005, 02:21 PM
That was certainly worth reading.

md1985250r
09-26-2005, 06:56 PM
That is funny stuff.........although I have seen it here before somewhere. I cant seem to find it now though. My search skills suck...lol

monster 84r
09-26-2005, 07:05 PM
haha, that letter is hilarious. my grampa had the same problem with beavers in michigan, with their dams obstructing water flow. they put a 20$ bounty for every beaver paw brought in. a 16 guage and a few beavers later, we had some extra spending cash haha.

grundlegrabber
09-26-2005, 10:26 PM
Great reading. Dam government sticking their nose where it don't belong again. Awesome comeback put them in their place. Probably just pissed them off more, tho. There is not one place in this country that is safe from the evil hand of the ever present 'man' .