x.system
09-25-2005, 09:16 PM
Got this in an email tonight from a friend.
>This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Michigan
>Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan.
>
>
>This guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's letter before you get to the response letter.
>
>__________________________________________________ __________________________
>
>(State's letter) SUBJECT: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20;
>Montcalm County
>
>Dear Mr. DeVries:
>
>It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality
>that
>there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel
>of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or
>contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:
>
>Construction and maintenane o two Wood Debris Dams across the outlet
>stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of this
>type of activity.
>
>A review of the Department's files show that no permits have been issued.
>
>Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in
>violation
>of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and
>Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994,being
>sections 324! 30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated
>
>The Department has been informed that one or both of the Dams partially
>failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at
>downstream
>locations. We find that Dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and
>cannot be permitted.
>
>The Department therefore orders you to ceas anddesist all activities at
>this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by
>removing all wood and brush forming the Dams from the stream channel.
>
>All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31,2005.
>
>Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that
>a
>follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff.
>
>Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity
>on
>the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement
>action. We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this
>matter.
>
>Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.
>
>Sincerely,
>David L. Price
>District Representative, Land and Water Management Diviion&nsp;
>
>__________________________________________________ _________________
>
>This is the actual response sent back:
>
>
>
>Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County.
>
>Dear Mr. Price,
>
>Your certified letter dated 12/17/04 has been handed to me to respond in
>regarding to the above mentioned file.
>
>I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson,
>Michigan.
>
>A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of
>constructing
>and maintaining two wood "debris" Dams across the outlet stream of my
>Spring
>Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their Dam Project,
>I
>think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of
&t;natues building materials "debris." I would like to challenge your
>department to attempt to emulate their Dam Project any time and/or any
>place
>you choose.
>
>I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their
>Dam
>skills, their Dam resourcefulness, their Dam ingenuity, their Dam
>persistence, their Dam determination and/or their Dam work ethic.
>
>As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must
>first fill out a Dam Permit prior to the start of this type of Dam
>activity.
>
>My first Dam question to you is:
>
>(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers... or
>
>(2) Do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said
>Dam
>request?
>
>If you are not discriminting aginst these particular beavers, through
>The
>Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other
>applicable Beaver Dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will see
>if
>there really is a Dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of
>the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the
>Public
>Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan
>Compiled
>Laws, annotated.
>
>I have several concerns. My first concern is... aren't the beavers
>entitled
>to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute
>and are unable to pay for said representation, so the State will have to
>provide them with a Dam lawyer.
>
>The Department's Dam concern that either one or both of the Dams failed
>during arecent rain event causing flooding! Is proof that this is a
>natural
>occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other words,
>we
>should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and
>calling them Dam names.
>
>If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please
>contact the beavers, but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously
>did
>not pay any attention to your Dam letter... they being unable to read
>English.
>
>In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their
>unauthorized Dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water
>flows downstream. They have more Dam Rights than I do to live and enjoy
>Spring Pond.
>
>If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives&bsp;
&t;up
>to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the
>environment (Beavers' Dams). So, as far as the beavers and I are
>concerned,
>this Dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right
>now. Why wait until 1/31/2005? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the
>Dam
>ice then and there will be no way for you or your Dam Staff to harass them
>then.
>
>In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention a real
>environmental
>quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears are actually
>defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting
>the
>defecating bears and leave the beavers alone.
>
>If you are going to investigate the Beaver Dam, watch your step! (The
>bears
>are not careful where they dump!)nbsp;
&t;
>Being unable to comply with your Dam request, and being unable to contact
>you on your Dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your Dam
>Office.
>
>
>Thank You,
>Ryan DeVries & The Dam Beavers. :-)
>This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Michigan
>Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan.
>
>
>This guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's letter before you get to the response letter.
>
>__________________________________________________ __________________________
>
>(State's letter) SUBJECT: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20;
>Montcalm County
>
>Dear Mr. DeVries:
>
>It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality
>that
>there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel
>of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or
>contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:
>
>Construction and maintenane o two Wood Debris Dams across the outlet
>stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of this
>type of activity.
>
>A review of the Department's files show that no permits have been issued.
>
>Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in
>violation
>of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and
>Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994,being
>sections 324! 30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated
>
>The Department has been informed that one or both of the Dams partially
>failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at
>downstream
>locations. We find that Dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and
>cannot be permitted.
>
>The Department therefore orders you to ceas anddesist all activities at
>this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by
>removing all wood and brush forming the Dams from the stream channel.
>
>All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31,2005.
>
>Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that
>a
>follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff.
>
>Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity
>on
>the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement
>action. We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this
>matter.
>
>Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.
>
>Sincerely,
>David L. Price
>District Representative, Land and Water Management Diviion&nsp;
>
>__________________________________________________ _________________
>
>This is the actual response sent back:
>
>
>
>Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County.
>
>Dear Mr. Price,
>
>Your certified letter dated 12/17/04 has been handed to me to respond in
>regarding to the above mentioned file.
>
>I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson,
>Michigan.
>
>A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of
>constructing
>and maintaining two wood "debris" Dams across the outlet stream of my
>Spring
>Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their Dam Project,
>I
>think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of
&t;natues building materials "debris." I would like to challenge your
>department to attempt to emulate their Dam Project any time and/or any
>place
>you choose.
>
>I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their
>Dam
>skills, their Dam resourcefulness, their Dam ingenuity, their Dam
>persistence, their Dam determination and/or their Dam work ethic.
>
>As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must
>first fill out a Dam Permit prior to the start of this type of Dam
>activity.
>
>My first Dam question to you is:
>
>(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers... or
>
>(2) Do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said
>Dam
>request?
>
>If you are not discriminting aginst these particular beavers, through
>The
>Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other
>applicable Beaver Dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will see
>if
>there really is a Dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of
>the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the
>Public
>Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan
>Compiled
>Laws, annotated.
>
>I have several concerns. My first concern is... aren't the beavers
>entitled
>to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute
>and are unable to pay for said representation, so the State will have to
>provide them with a Dam lawyer.
>
>The Department's Dam concern that either one or both of the Dams failed
>during arecent rain event causing flooding! Is proof that this is a
>natural
>occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other words,
>we
>should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and
>calling them Dam names.
>
>If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please
>contact the beavers, but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously
>did
>not pay any attention to your Dam letter... they being unable to read
>English.
>
>In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their
>unauthorized Dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water
>flows downstream. They have more Dam Rights than I do to live and enjoy
>Spring Pond.
>
>If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives&bsp;
&t;up
>to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the
>environment (Beavers' Dams). So, as far as the beavers and I are
>concerned,
>this Dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right
>now. Why wait until 1/31/2005? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the
>Dam
>ice then and there will be no way for you or your Dam Staff to harass them
>then.
>
>In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention a real
>environmental
>quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears are actually
>defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting
>the
>defecating bears and leave the beavers alone.
>
>If you are going to investigate the Beaver Dam, watch your step! (The
>bears
>are not careful where they dump!)nbsp;
&t;
>Being unable to comply with your Dam request, and being unable to contact
>you on your Dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your Dam
>Office.
>
>
>Thank You,
>Ryan DeVries & The Dam Beavers. :-)