The Absolute Funniest Thing You Can Recall!

[bigredhead]

Well.... i'm kinda absent minded right now.. but can all of you recall the funniest thing you've ever had to laugh thru?

I'm talking the times where you think you might pass out from lack of oxygen and almost pissed yourself on the spot... shoot liquids out your nose funny! :lol:

Lets have it !

( I'll reply once i think of a good one.. )

[honda200]

sitting at the kitchen table, i sat facing my mother, and she was looking at me, about to say something, i made eye contact with her and then just went "AHH!!" for no apparent reason, well, my dad fell off his chair, my brother squirted milk out his nose and my mom screamed, and i laughed for the longest time

another time, this weirdo kid that works with me, came to me for woman advice, so i told him this " get really heavy into a movie with her, then slowly unzip your pants and pull it out, ithen take her hand and slowly bring it over to your lap, seriously man, it worked for me"

next day, he comes in, he did everything i told him to do, but when he started to pull the chicks hand over she screamed "PUT THAT THING AWAY!"

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha he couldnt understand why it wouldnt work like i said it would

Curtis

[1984kxtTECATE]

I would have to say reading some posts about jetting on this forum :lol:

[Mobular]

Quite a while ago, a friend was sitting on the floor cross-legged, watching TV. He scooted forward to adjust the set, and unknown to him there was a double ended toothpick hidden in the carpet directly underneath him. Well, he ended up impaling himself deeply with the toothpick right next to his hoop AND the other end of the toothpick was stuck well into the carpet therefore locking him well into place! What a scene, just like a fish on a hook! There he is yelling that it's not funny at all, and that just makes me laugh louder. It still get a healthy chuckle at the thought of it!

[chris200x]

I would have to say reading some posts about jetting on this forum :lol:


LMAO!!!! :lol:

[mywifeknowseverything]

Numerous things come to mind...But this one sticks in my head right now...

15 or so yrs ago I worked as a Tree Climber for a Service that had Contracted with PG&E....Anyway,,,We went through people like Crazy and always seemed to get the "CREAM OF THE CROP" when it came to New Hires...

Anyway,,,,Long Story Short...One of the New Guys(about 18 or so) Could not get the Chainsaw Started....I told him we would "Bump" Start it...I had him Lay on the Chiper Fender and hold the Bar and Chain down on the Ground at the Very Tip while I drove about 10-15 miles an hour down the Road...He Kept Yellin...."This aint Workin!!!!" " Are you Sure this is gonna Work!!"

I was laughing so hard I had to stop and Catch my Breath and wipe the tears out of my eyes :w00t:

[3leggeddog]

the funniest thing i can remember is a moment of drunkeness.new years eve about 4 years ago.i had my best friend home from the navy.well my manager from work was an army guy.of course the 2 of them were going at it all night.finally the army guy decides he is gonna "show up this navy sissy",those were his words,not mine.we had been drinking snake bites,tequila,salt and lemon,when he says "let me show you punks a real mans shot".he called it a sucide shot.he put a line of salt on the table with a shot lemon juice,and tequila beside it.he snorted the salt,poured the lemon juice in his eye,and drank the shot of tequila.not to be out done,my navy friend pete matched him.that is the dumbest,funniest thing i have ever witnessed,and i got it on video!!!!!!!

[kando]

the funniest thing i can remember is a moment of drunkeness.new years eve about 4 years ago.i had my best friend home from the navy.well my manager from work was an army guy.of course the 2 of them were going at it all night.finally the army guy decides he is gonna "show up this navy sissy",those were his words,not mine.we had been drinking snake bites,tequila,salt and lemon,when he says "let me show you punks a real mans shot".he called it a sucide shot.he put a line of salt on the table with a shot lemon juice,and tequila beside it.he snorted the salt,poured the lemon juice in his eye,and drank the shot of tequila.not to be out done,my navy friend pete matched him.that is the dumbest,funniest thing i have ever witnessed,and i got it on video!!!!!!!
If you got this on video, see if you can get it on here. That has got to be hilarious. I can't wait to see it.

[mywifeknowseverything]

When I Drink,,,Which is not very often...Snake Bites are all I drink...Love em!!!~!

[Somekindofjerk]

Playing Ghost recon two online one day after downloading a whole bunch of pachs. i see this dutch guy go wizzing by on a turkey. now im thinking WTF is this. im a giant pink bunny! i get close to the dutch on a turkey and notice the turkeys legs goig a mile a second. i start laughing seeing this. then the guy lays down (god i wish i had a pic) and it looks like hes got the turkey half way up his ass. at this point im dying of laughter, cant even play the game!

[Tri-ZNate]

The funniest thing I have done lately was in computer repair class. One day we had a sub and everyone had to do worksheets except me since I had some computers to work on. So I called my friend over to help me out so he didnt have to do any worksheets. We grabbed a shitty computer, like an old one that came with win 95, and started disassembling all the parts inside so everything could be taken out and threw in some other misilaneous parts along with adding a monitor to the collection. I told the teacher I fixed the ID10T (Idiot for those who dont get it :D) problem and we have to put it back where it belongs, so we go through some classrooms out to the dumpsters :lol: and we are out there for probably a half hour chucking hard drives, floppy drives, motherboards, the monitor, and any thing else that didnt work into the dumpsters. Long story short if it didnt break the first time we tried and tried again :lol: Oh god that was fun.

[Oldshell4481]

i cant think of much i aint had a good chuckle in a long time, but i was the source of laughter in class the other day. i always rip on the football players and the sports teams, and my teacher got mad and the whole class went silent when he asked what my favorite and best sport was, i thought for about 5 seconds then responded quite clearly and sharply "Pocket Pool" the teacher didnt find it amusing, everyone else did, but i recieved a detention for it.

[Jason Hall]

One of the funniest things I have heard lately. A guy I work with was telling us about when he was younger. He was half drunk at a concert in a kind of small club, standing room only. He said he had to fart & just could'nt hold it any longer, so he let er rip. The next thing he knows he is getting punched in the ass like a punching bag. He turns around to see what is going on, & there was'nt anybody standing behind him. He looked down & there was a midget standing ass high, & mad as hell. Can you imagine the blast that poor midget got. I guess she came into his shop a year or 2 later with a friend to get a car worked on, & as soon as the midget saw him she walked out to her car & stayed there. She thought he did it on purpose, he tried real hard to appologize but that was out of the question. Man dude that must have been a horible smelling fart to hold a grudge for that long. When he started telling us the story, it sounded like a joke. He said did I ever tell ya about the time I farted in a midgets face at the standing room only concert. We were all laughing so hard we were crying by the end of the story.:beer

[bigredhead]

Oh hell... not sure if this is apropriate or not.. but here goes.

Me and the ex-girlfriend had been together for a while.. and all was going well... one day she showed up with a puppy !

[bigredhead]

Well....she was crate trained, she had to stay in the crate next to the bed every night :naughty:


One night... .. she had to be about 6 months old.. figure about 30 lbs or so.

There we are .. goin at it... Doggy style.. and i feel something cold down my back... :eek:

I look behind.. and yep.. ther's my dog... got out of her crate.. found the closest leg... Mine !!!!... and was going to town !! lol...:lol:

She must have figure " Hey.. that looks like fun !! "...

[bigredhead]

she's such a clown !!1

[brapp]

all i can say is famous last words, i was told fallow me, and a blaster dont exactly kjump as well as a 97 cr250. and jumpet up over the crest ogf the hill and landed in a washed out hole.

http://www.bikepics.com/pics/pics/yamaha-blaster-95-bikepics-212311.jpg

[bigredhead]

it looks like someone is crying.. not laughing !!! lol..

[RedRider_AK]

My friend on my old 110.

"I'm gonna climb that 1 foot hill!"
VRAAAN roll over backwards

[Oldshell4481]

that midget story is hilarious

[Somekindofjerk]

http://stupidvideos.com/Default.asp


Lots of stupid people doing lots of stupid things:lol:

[foster]

There's a bunch of us who love to hunt. We've been hunting together for about 25 years.
We take our hunting seriously from dawn to dusk, and after that we take our partying seriously. One night one of the boys took his partying a little TOO seriously and went to bed very early, even before one of the other fellows got back to camp.
Finally the last member of our hunting group returned, and the reason he was late was quite obvious. He scored a nice doe.
Before he could hang it, I got an idea.
I went into our hunting trailer and stole our passed-out buddy's truck keys and unlocked his vehicle. Then I spread some newspapers on his seat.
We took the doe and propped it up in the driver's seat and took string and small rope to tie its hoofs to the steering wheel.
Then we took our passed-out buddy's favourite hunting hat and propped it up on the deer's head, which was being held up as best it could by string around its neck and around the headrest.
We could hardly contain ourselves, waiting for the clock alarm to go off about an hour before dawn, but we managed to keep our mouths shut and go to bed.
Next morning we were awoken by the alarm and we all stayed in our sleeping bags snickering as our passed-out pal got out of bed and went outside to pee. Someone handed him a flashlight and said, "You better use this, I think someone accidentally hit the driver's side of your truck with an empty beer bottle last night. You might want to check for damage."
You could hear him muttering outside and shining the light around his truck, and then he spotted the deer all propped up like it was going to drive his truck to the grocery store to buy some steaks: "Holy #!^%*$#*!@%$*!!!!!!!!"
I can't begin to tell you how hard we laughed!

[cragster]

brapp is that how you screwed your blasters front end and made it a 3 wheeler?lol