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gravelyman
11-30-2008, 04:15 AM
"These are real standing laws from around the United States of America. Hope you enjoy them and remember, Law Enforcement is no joke!"

Silly Laws:

- Alabama:
1. It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
2. You may not drive barefooted.
3. Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.
4. Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.
5. It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.
6. You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
7. Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men.

- Alaska:
1. It is illegal to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.
2. It is against the law to attempt to break any law
3. One may not roam the city with a bow and arrows.

-Arizona
1. When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person posseses.
2. You may not have more than two dildos in a house.
3. It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.
4. Hunting camels is prohibited.

-Arkansas
1. The Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock.
2. A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
3. Oral sex is considered to be sodomy.

- California:
1. Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water.
2. It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
3. No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.

-Colorado
1. Tags may be ripped off of pillows and mattresses.
2. Keeping a house where unmarried persons are allowed to have sex is prohibited.
3. It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor.

- Connecticut:
1. You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.
2. You are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands.
3. It is illegal to dispose of used razor blades.
4. It is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on Sunday.

-Delaware
1. It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink.

- Florida:
1. Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
2. A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
3. If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
4. It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
5. Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
6. Any form of sexual contact other than missionary position is a misdomeanor. (This is still a law. There have been several cases of people being brought up on these charges in the past 5 years alone. If the police enter a home with a warrent for some other crime and catch the 'culprits' in action, they can, and are, brought up on those charges.)
7. It is illegal to sell your children.
8. Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
9. You may not fart in a public place after 6 Pm
10. It is considered an offense to shower naked.
11. You may not kiss your wife’s breasts.

-Georgia
1. It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which lies in a funeral home or in a coroners office
2. Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs.
3. Selling two beers at once for the same price is not allowed.
4. Goldfish may not be given away to entice someone to enter a game of bingo.
6. On Mondays, it is illegal for one to whistle very loud after 11:00 PM.

-Hawaii
1. All residents may be fined as a result of not owning a boat.
2.Coins are not allowed to be placed in one’s ears.

-Idaho
1. Illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.
2. You may not fish on a camel’s back.
3. If a police officer approaches a vehicle and suspects that the occupants are engaging in sex, he must either honk, or flash his lights and wait for three minutes before approaching the car.
4. Dirt may not be swept from ones house into the street.

- Illinois:
1. It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animal kept as pets.
2. One may not pee in his neighbor’s mouth.
3. Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.
4. Cars may not be driven through the town.
5. You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile.

- Indiana:
1. Bathing is prohibited during the winter.
2. Citizens are not allowed to attend a movie house or theater nor ride in a public streetcar within at least four hours after eating garlic.
3. It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public.
4. You can get out of paying for a dependent’s medical care by praying for him/her.
5. Smoking in the state legislature building is banned, except when the legislature is in session.

- Iowa:
1. Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.
2. A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public.
3. The fire department is required to practice fire fighting for fifteen minutes before attending a fire.
4. Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants.
5. Within the city limits, a man may not wink at any woman he does not know.

gravelyman
11-30-2008, 04:16 AM
-Kansas
1. Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats.
2. Pedestrians crossing the highways at night must wear tail lights.
3. No one may catch fish with his bare hands.
4. The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks.
5. If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed.

- Kentucky:
1. By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground."
2. It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.
3. Throwing eggs at a public speaker could result in up to one year in prison.
4. One may not receive anal sex.
5. A woman may not buy a hat without her husband’s permission.

- Louisiana:
1. It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
2. Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault."
3. It is a $500 fine to instruct a pizza delivery man to deliver a pizza to your friend without them knowing.
4.One may not “dare” another to go onto railroad tracks owned by another.
5. Prisoners who hurt themselves could serve an additional two years in jail.
6. One could land in jail for up to a year for making a false promise.

-Maine
1. Shotguns are required to be taken to church in the event of a Native American attack.
2. You may not step out of a plane in flight.
3. After January 14th you will be charged a fine for having your Christmas decorations still up.
4. It is illegal to park in front of Dunkin Donuts.

-Maryland
1. Persons may not swear while on the highway.
2. Oral sex can not be given or received anywhere.
3. Thistles may not grow in one’s yard.

- Massachusetts:
1. Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.
2. Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
3. An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
4. Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.
5. At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.
6.All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday.
7. Hunting on Sundays is prohibited.
8. It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath.
9. A woman can not be on top in sexual activities.
10. No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.
11. Tattooing and body piercing is illegal.
12. Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes.
13. Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder.
14. Quakers and witches are banned.
15. Bullets may not be used as currency.

-Michigan
1. Persons may not be drunk on trains.
2 .Cars may not be sold on Sunday.
3. A woman isn’t allowed to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission.
4. There is a 3 cent bounty for each starling and 10 cent bounty for each crow killed in any village, township, or city in the state.
5. It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.
6. You may not swear in front of women and children.
7. Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.
8. Couples are banned from making love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple’s own property.
9. Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited.
10. It is illegal for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday.
11. It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose.

-Minnesota
1. Hamburgers may not be eaten on Sundays.
2. Driving a truck with dirty tires is considered a public nuisance.
3. Red cars may not drive down Lake Street.

4. A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head.
5. It is illegal to sleep naked.
6. All men driving motorcycles must wear shirts.

-Mississippi
1.If one is a parent to two illegitimate children, that person will go to jail for at least one month.
2.A man may not seduce a woman by lying, and claiming he will marry her.
3.Adultery or Fornication (living togeather while not married or having sex with someone that is not your spouse) results in a fine of $500 and/or 6 months in prison.
4. It is illegal to teach others what polygamy is.

-Missouri
1. It is illegal to have oral sex.
2. Single men between the ages of twenty-one and fifty must pay an annual tax of one dollar (enacted 1820).
3. It is not illegal to speed.

-Montana
1. All pool tables must be able to be viewed from the street outside a billiard hall where they are located
2. Bands who play in clubs where alcohol is served may not leave the stage while performing.
3. It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.
4. It is a felony for a wife to open her husband’s mail.
5. It is a misdemeanor to show movies that depict acts of felonious crime.
6. In Montana, it is illegal for married women to go fishing alone on Sundays, and illegal for unmarried women to fish alone at all.
7. It is illegal for a man and a woman to have sex in any other position other than missionary style.
8. Seven or more indians are considered a raiding or war party and it is legal to shoot them.

- Nebraska:
1. A parent can be arrested if his child cannot hold back a burp during a church service.
2. It is Illegal to go whale fishing.
3. It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.
4. It is illegal for a mother to give her daughter a perm without a state license.
5. A man is not allowed to run around with a shaved chest.
6. Persons with gonorrhea may not marry.

-Nevada
1. Everyone walking the streets is required to wear a mask.
2. A man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three people other than himself at any one period during the day.
3. Sex toys are outlawed.

-New Hampshire
1. If a person is caught raking the beaches, picking up litter, hauling away trash, building a bench for the park, or many other kind things without a permit, he/she may be fined $150 for ”maintaining the national forest without a permit”.

2. You may not run machinery on Sundays.
3. On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up.
4. You may not tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe.
5. You cannot sell the clothes you are wearing to pay off a gambling debt.

-New Jersey
1. Drivers must warn those who they pass on highways before they do so.
2. It is illegal to wear a bullet-proof vest while committing a murder.
3. All motorists must honk before passing another car, bicyclist, skater, and even a skateboarder.
4. You cannot pump your own gas.
5. It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.
6. It is against the law to “frown” at a police officer.
7. No street-side trees may be planted that “obscure the air”.

gravelyman
11-30-2008, 04:17 AM
- New Mexico:
1. Females are strictly forbidden to appear unshaven in public.
2. You may not carry a lunchbox down Main Street.

- New York:
1. A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
2. Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business.
3. You may not smoke within 100 feet of the entrance to a public building.
4. It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing “body hugging clothing.
5. Citizens may not greet each other by “putting one’s thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers”.
6. It is against the law to throw a ball at someone’s head for fun.
7. The penalty for jumping off a building is death.
8. New Yorkers cannot dissolve a marriage for irreconcilable differences, unless they both agree to it.
9. A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket.
10. While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door.
11. Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 P.
12. During a concert, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks.
13. Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited.
14. People may not slurp their soup.
15. Pinball machines are not to be played on Sunday.

-North Carolina

1. It’s against the law to sing off key.
2. Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields.
3. While having sex, you must stay in the missionary position and have the shades pulled.
4. All couples staying overnight in a hotel must have a room with double beds that are at least two feet apart.
5. It is illegal to have sex in a churchyard.
6. Oral sex is considered a crime against nature.
7. A marriage can be declared void if either of the two persons is physically impotent.
8. Fights between cats and dogs are prohibited.

- North Dakota:
1. Beer & pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
2. It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
3. It is legal to shoot an Indian on horseback, provided you are in a covered wagon.
4. One may be jailed for wearing a hat while dancing, or even for wearing a hat to a function where dancing is taking place.

- Ohio:
1. Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.
2. It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.
3. It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
4. The Ohio driver’s education manual states that you must honk the horn whenever you pass another car.
5. Participating or conducting a duel is prohibited.
6. Breast feeding is not allowed in public.
7. It is illegal for more than five women to live in a house.
8. It is illegal to mistreat anything of great importance
9. Power Wheels cars may not be driven down the street.
10. No person shall solicit sex from another of the same gender if it offends the second person.
11. No one may be arrested on Sunday or on the Fourth of July.

- Oklahoma:
1. Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog.
2. Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state.
3. Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.
4. It is illegal for the owner of a bar to allow anyone inside to pretend to have sex with a buffalo.
5. Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another’s hamburger.
6. Whaling is illegal.
7. It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your boots.
8. Residents are taxed for the furniture in their homes, and any other personal belongings.
9. Cars must be tethered outside of public buildings.
10. Oral sex is a misdemeanor and is punisable by one year in jail and a $2,500 fine.
11. Anyone arrested for soliciting a hooker must have their name and picture shown on television.
12. It’s statutory rape for a man over 18 to have sex with a female under the age of 18, provided she’s a virgin.

-Oregon
1. Dishes must drip dry.
2. It is illegal to whisper “dirty” things in your lover’s ear during sex.
3. Ice cream may not be eaten on Sundays.
4. It is illegal to buy or sell marijuana, but it is legal to smoke it on your own property.
5. One may not bathe without wearing “suitable clothing,” i.
6. Canned corn is not to be used as bait for fishing.
7. Babies may not be carried on the running boards of a car.
8. Drivers may not pump their own gas.
9. A door on a car may not be left open longer than is necessary.

- Pennsylvania:
1. A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.
2. No man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife.

3. It is contrary to Pennsylvania law to discharge a gun, cannon, revolver or other explosive weapon at a wedding.
4. It is illegal to have over 16 women live in a house together because that constitutes a brothel.
5. It it illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors.
6. Any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue.
7. You may not sing in the bathtub.
8. Fireworks stores may not sell fireworks to Pennsylvania residents.
9. A person is not eligible to become Governor if he/she has participated in a duel.
10. Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass.
11. Ministers are forbidden from performing marriages when either the bride or groom is drunk.
12. No more than two packages of beer at a time may be purchased, unless you are buying from an official “beer distributor”.
13. All liquor stores must be run by the state.
14. Motorized vehicles are not to be sold on Sundays.
15. You may not catch a fish with your hands.
16. You may not catch a fish by any body part except the mouth.
17. Dynamite is not to be used to catch fish.
18. Though you do not need a fishing license to fish on your own land, but a hunting license is required to hunt on your own land.

-Rhode Island
1. Any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or lunatic is null and void.
2. It is considered an offense to throw pickle juice on a trolley.
3. One must make a loud noise before passing a car on the left.
4. Cap guns are illegal.
5. No one may bite off anothers leg.
6. You may not sell toothpaste and a toothbrush to the same customer on a Sunday.
7. It is illegal to use water on even-numbered days for the sole purpose of watering plants, gardens, or lawns.
8. It is illegal to drive down any street with beer in your car, even if it is unopened.
9. You cannot smoke a pipe after sunset.

-South Carolina
1. It is a capital offense to inadvertently kill someone while attempting suicide.
2. A person must be eighteen years old to play a pinball machine.
3. It is considered an offense to get a tattoo.
4. Horses may not be kept in bathtubs.
5. It is illegal to sell any alcoholic beverages on Sunday, unless you own a private club.
6. A permit must be obtained to fire a missle.
7. It is illegal to display a confederate flag on a courthouse.
8. By law, if a man promises to marry an unmarried woman, the marriage must take place.

-South Dakota
1. No horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants.
2. It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.
3. Movies that show police officers being struck, beaten, or treated in an offensive manner are forbidden.
4. If there are more than 5 Native Americans on your property you may shoot them.
5. If three or more Indians are walking down the street together, they can be considered a war party and fired upon.

- Tennessee:
1. It is illegal to lasso a catfish in Tennessee!!
2. Driving is not to be done while asleep.
3. It is legal to gather and consume roadkill.
4. The definition of “dumb animal” includes every living creature.
5. Interracial marriages are illegal.
6. Giving and receiving oral sex is still prohibited by law.
7. Stealing a horse is punishible by hanging.
8. You can’t shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile.
9. Hollow logs may not be sold.
10. More than 8 women may not live in the same house because that would constitute a brothel.

- Texas:
1. A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without first obtaining a special five-dollar permit.
2. It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
3. It is illegal to sell ones eye.
4. When two trains meet each other at a Railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.
5. Up to a felony charge can be levied for promoting the use of, or owning more than six dildos.
6. It is illegal to milk another person’s cow.
7. A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
8. Homosexual behavior is a misdemeanor offense.
9. The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
10. Wire cutters can not be carried in your pocket.
11. It’s illegal to possess realistic dildos.
12. It is illegal to dust any public building with a feather duster.

gravelyman
11-30-2008, 04:18 AM
-Utah
1. Throwing snowballs will result in a $50 fine.
2. Women may not swear.
3. It is against the law to fish from horseback.
4. It is illegal not to drink milk.
5. It is illegal to detonate any nuclear weapon.
6. Birds have the right of way on all highways.
7. A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife while she is in his presence.
8. You’re not allowed to sell beverages containing more than 3.
9. It is a felony to persistently tread on the cracks between paving stones on the sidewalk of a state highway.
10. It’s legal for restaurants to serve wine with meals, but only if you ask for the wine list.
11. It is considered an offense to hunt whales.
12. No one may have sex in the back of an ambulance if it is responding to an emergency call.
13. Alcohol may not be sold during an emergency.
14. It is illegal to cause a catastrophe


- Vermont:
1. Lawmakers made it obligatory for everybody to take at least one bath each week -- on Saturday night.

2. Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.
3. At one time it was illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole.
4. It is illegal to deny the existence of God.
5. All residents shall bathe every Saturday night

-Virginia
1. It is illegal to cuss about another.
2. Women must wear a corsette after sundown and be in the company of male chaperone.
3. Spitting on a sea gull is not tolerated.
4. A person of color may not be oustide or within the city limits after 7 pm.
5. Citizens must honk their horn while passing other cars.
6. Children are not to go trick-or-treating on Halloween.
7. It is illegal to tickle women.
8. No animal may be hunted for on Sunday with the exception of raccoons, which may be hunted until 2:00 AM.
9. Not only is it illegal to have sex with the lights on, one may not have sex in any position other than missionary.
10. There is a state law prohibiting “corrupt practices of bribery by any person other than candidates.
11. You may not engage in business on Sundays, with the exception of almost every industry.
12. If one is not married, it is illegal for him to have sexual relations.
13. You may not have oral or anal sex.
14. Driving while not wearing shoes is prohibited.
15. Police radar detectors are illegal.

- Washington:
1. All lollipops are banned.
2. A law to reduce crime states: "It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town.
3. In King County, in Seattle Washington, it is illegal to sit on a man's lap on a metro bus, unless you are married.
4. Vancouver, WA has a city law that requires all motor vehicles to carry anchors... as an emergency brake. (Ted Timmons)

5. It is illegal to paint polka dots on the American flag.
6. People may not buy a mattress on Sunday.
7. All motor vehicles must be preceded by a man carrying a red flag (daytime) or a red lantern (nighttime) fifty feet in front of said vehicle.
8. It is illegal to pretend that one’s parents are rich.
9. You are not allowed to breastfeed in public.
10. One may not spit on a bus.

- West Virginia:
1. No children may attend school with their breath smelling of "wild onions."
2. Roadkill may be taken home for supper.
3. Whistling underwater is prohibited.
4. According to the state constitution, it is unlawful for anyone to own a red or a black flag
5. For each act of public swearing a person shall be fined one dollar.
6. It is illegal to snooze on a train.
7. A person may not hold public office if he or she has ever participated in a duel.
8. A person may be placed in jail for up to six months for making fun of someone who does not accept a challege.
9. It is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs.
10. A tax of 1 cent is levied for every 16 and 9 ounces of coke sold in a store.
11. Unmarried couple who live together and “lewdly associate” with one another may face up to a year in prison.
12. Any person who commits adultery shall be fined at least twenty dollars.

-Wisconson
1. Whenever two trains meet at an intersection of said tracks, neither shall proceed until the other has.
2. As people used to smuggle it in from Illinois, all yellow butter substitute is banned.
3. Condoms were considered an obsene article and had to hidden behind the pharmacist’s counter.
4. At one time, margarine was illegal.
5. State Law made it illegal to serve apple pie in public restaurants without cheese.
6. The state definition of rape stated that it was a man having sex with a woman he knows not to be his wife.
7. While all cheese making requires a license, Limburger cheese making requires a master cheese maker’s license.
8. It is illegal to kiss on a train.
9. It is illegal to cut a woman’s hair.
10. Margarine may not be substituted for butter in restaurants unless it is requested by the customer.
11. The government may not prohibit manual flushed urinals.
12. It is a class A misdemeanor to wave a burning torch around in the air.
13. It is unlawful for one to allow another to use the first person’s telephone in order to make prank phone calls.
14. You are not allowed to put litter into someone else’s trash receptacle without express permission.

-Wyoming
1. It is illegal for women to stand within five feet of a bar while drinking.
2. You may not take a picture of a rabbit from January to April without an official permit.
3. Skiing under the influence of alcohol is prohibited.
4. All new buildings that cost over $100,000 to build must have %1 of funds spent on art work for the building.
5. If one is drunk in a mine, he or she could land in jail for up to a year.
6. Junk dealers may not make any business transactions with drunk persons
7. Using a firearm to fish is strictly forbidden.
8. Any person who fails to close a fence is subject to a fine of up to seven hundred and fifty dollars