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Thread: The Bigger Picture

  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by fabiodriven View Post
    No, they should behave and respect their elders or know there are going to be consequences to be paid.
    Respect is earned with a beat down? I agree respect is important, but how is "running around" disrespecting you? You're funny how you talk about programming, yet, there it is.
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  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bren_downe View Post
    Respect is earned with a beat down? I agree respect is important, but how is "running around" disrespecting you? You're funny how you talk about programming, yet, there it is.
    I think what fabs is saying here is that we need to teach our children the lost art of respect, either by a little whooping, time outs, or no playing..

    I'll tell ya a quick story, my daughter has 4 kids we always regretted going to her and her boyfriend house for many reasons but the main reason that they had no control over their kids. Control of respect, control over eating, control over doing chores so for us it always sucked to see our daughter struggle emotionally, financially and with rearing a family..
    In walk a new man, stable, loving, working.. the kids love him.. one of the first conversation he had with them was on respect- he first taught them what the word meant then he showed them.. then he layed down consequences for their actions if they didn't give him, their mother, each other or extended family respect. Basically the kids knew what would happen if they screwed up.. no beatings but working together doing dishes or cleaning each others bedrooms..
    I am here to tell ya, it worked mom and I can be grandparents and actually enjoy going over the their place now..
    So see I do agree with a two parent home, I do agree with parents involvement, I do agree with respect and consequences, all these things can be taught and learned but we need to have willing parents to do so..

  3. #33
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    I agree we have lost our ability to communicate with each other, parents to children, peer to peer. When one dosent get the attention in a positive manner they will seek it in a negative way..

    I will make America great again, by giving every child a three wheeler and a set of metric tools to work on it..
    Last edited by DAM shop; 02-15-2018 at 09:09 PM.

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by DAM shop View Post
    I think what fabs is saying here is that we need to teach our children the lost art of respect, either by a little whooping, time outs, or no playing..

    I'll tell ya a quick story, my daughter has 4 kids we always regretted going to her and her boyfriend house for many reasons but the main reason that they had no control over their kids. Control of respect, control over eating, control over doing chores so for us it always sucked to see our daughter struggle emotionally, financially and with rearing a family..
    In walk a new man, stable, loving, working.. the kids love him.. one of the first conversation he had with them was on respect- he first taught them what the word meant then he showed them.. then he layed down consequences for their actions if they didn't give him, their mother, each other or extended family respect. Basically the kids knew what would happen if they screwed up.. no beatings but working together doing dishes or cleaning each others bedrooms..
    I am here to tell ya, it worked mom and I can be grandparents and actually enjoy going over the their place now..
    So see I do agree with a two parent home, I do agree with parents involvement, I do agree with respect and consequences, all these things can be taught and learned but we need to have willing parents to do so..
    Exactly. Kids can learn respect. A "whooping" isnt any kind of learning it's conditioning. Like a dog. Kids need discipline and limits. I think some are confused on the definition of discipline. Many parents today have their heart in the right place but are misguided by their own conditioning and programming. You can teach a child respect without hitting them. Remember respect begets respect.
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  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by DAM shop View Post

    I will make America great again, by giving every child a three wheeler and a set of metric tools to work on it..
    I think You're half right. Every kid should work a summer job to EARN something of their interest. Nobody struggles anymore. Shiz just gets handed to them. Or they look it up on google or youtube. Struggle is so important for the human mind to grow. Young or old.
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  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bren_downe View Post
    Respect is earned with a beat down? I agree respect is important, but how is "running around" disrespecting you? You're funny how you talk about programming, yet, there it is.
    First of all, a smack on the arse hardly implies a beat down. It's the gesture, not the pain, which teaches a child that maybe next time they'll listen to what you're saying. The children of today have no respect for their elders and thereby authority as they grow into adults because there are zero repercussions for their actions. They can roam free and disrespect their parents (as I'm guessing your children do) and then continue to disrespect adults as they go through life. Teachers, bosses, the police, etc...

    It's bad enough they don't listen, but in the instance I was referring to at the aquarium the other day, the children literally did exactly what they were told not to, over and over, to the T. So that is telling you that they are acknowledging the words spoken to them, and then they intentionally defy those words. I'm not against children playing, being loud, and having fun. That's the whole point of being a child. I'm talking about teaching children, when they are young and impressionable, the right way which will effect their everyday life for the rest of their lives.

    They didn't disrespect me, they disrespect their grandmother and my father. My father is powerless to do anything about it, they're not his grandchildren. I didn't tell the children to do anything, but I watched over and over again as they continued to do exactly what they were told not to.

    Now children such as these and yours, when they start schooling, their teachers are going to need them to be quiet and pay attention in class, for their own benefit as well as the benefit of the other children in class with them. Children such as yours will have no reason whatsoever to listen to a teacher because there will be no repercussions if they don't, and therefore will continue to disrupt the class to the detriment of all the children there. Then you'll get a call at home, which will be a waste, then when your kid comes to you during a bathroom break from his video games you'll ask him what's going on. He'll tell you whatever he wants or nothing at all, then go back to his video games.

    Then one day your boy gets caught speeding. He'd likely get let off but because your child has zero respect for authority he'll mouth off and get himself a ticket.

    And on, and on, and on. So because you don't feel like teaching your child about authority, you're now leaving it up to your child's teacher to deal with it, whose hands are tied, you're affecting the quality of life of the students who must attend classes with your child, you likely ruin people's dinners at restaurants, and ultimately leave people who can actually take action and use forceful authority (the police) no choice but to incapicitate your children because they still haven't learned that if you do something wrong, you shouldn't be surprised if you end up being corrected.

    Why do I have to explain this to you? You quoted my words but you're really reaching when using them, it's kind of silly.
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  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bren_downe View Post
    I think You're half right. Every kid should work a summer job to EARN something of their interest. Nobody struggles anymore. Shiz just gets handed to them. Or they look it up on google or youtube. Struggle is so important for the human mind to grow. Young or old.
    We sold a trike to a guy and his son for less than our asking price and also threw in a shop manual for free.. tbe Dad questioned our logic and we told him it was because of what he said about him teaching his son how to work on it..
    That was so important to us when our kids were growing up.. we would have 6-7 trikes and a Odyssey all going at once on about every weekend.. the kids knew if they broke it they helped fix it, if they got it dirty they cleaned it, if they rode it they changed the oil in it..

  8. #38
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    Folks seem to be very judgmental, materialistic and less friendly these days. I think it's important to love your children. I'm new to this, though but parenting is not for everyone. I can't say for sure wth is going on but these discussions show people do care.




    I've always remembered what a wise man told me, "son, now that you're going to be a father, it's your duty to teach them responsibility ASAP".

  9. #39
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    I can tell your ignorant on this subject so let me educate you. A "smack on the ass" doesn't really teach anything. It's condtioning.
    I like how you automatically assume my child is some shiz head without ever meeting him or me. Let me ask you something, are you the same person you were at 6? Or 10 or 21?

    Let me tell you something's about my kid. He wants to be a police officer when he grows up. He's known to be a great mediator of younger children during disagreements. He respects his teacher, listens to them and helps them during school hours. But, he has bad days just like all of you, ain't always sunshine and daisys, Am i right Fabs.
    Did you know kids push boundaries to find out where their limits are? Maybe your freind forgot to set limits?
    Why am I explaining this to you? You don't even have kids.
    This IS silly
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  10. #40
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    What I'm trying to say is you don't need to put your hands on a child to teach them respect. It's not needed. But they do need strong limits and boundaries. Assuming makes an Ass of U and Me.
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  11. #41
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    The Bigger Picture

    Bren_downe, I think what you say is good. I like it, man. Thumbs up!

    Edit: I misspelled downe
    Last edited by Jd110; 02-15-2018 at 10:05 PM.

  12. #42
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    The Bigger Picture

    Quote Originally Posted by Bren_downe View Post
    I can tell your ignorant on this subject so let me educate you. A "smack on the ass" doesn't really teach anything. It's condtioning.
    I like how you automatically assume my child is some shiz head without ever meeting him or me. Let me ask you something, are you the same person you were at 6? Or 10 or 21?

    Let me tell you something's about my kid. He wants to be a police officer when he grows up. He's known to be a great mediator of younger children during disagreements. He respects his teacher, listens to them and helps them during school hours. But, he has bad days just like all of you, ain't always sunshine and daisys, Am i right Fabs.
    Did you know kids push boundaries to find out where their limits are? Maybe your freind forgot to set limits?
    Why am I explaining this to you? You don't even have kids.
    This IS silly
    That's great Bren. So either you're doing something right or you have good genes or both. Unfortunately that's not as common these days as it used to be. If you and your family are doing good, then none of this applies to you.

    I'm tired of seeing awful children not like yours out and about and if your kids don't need correction, great! Unfortunately that doesn't apply to all children.

    I was out to breakfast a couple months ago when a 10-ish year old baby had an outburst in the middle of the restaurant because something in his breakfast wasn't right. He squealed out over nothing at all and when his mother calmly tried to stop him, he screamed louder. This was a very small restaurant, it was very disturbing, and he controlled the situation, not his mother. He should have been taken out of there and taken home right then and there, but he wasn't. He learned that day if he squeals enough that he will get what he wants and control that situation. Situations such as these are not uncommon.

    Now if you're against other people disciplining their children because you didn't have to, then I don't know what to tell you. If your kid hasn't required much disciplining again, that's awesome, but that doesn't mean there aren't tons and tons of kids out there who need discipline. These are the kids that myself and others are referring to.

    Take that big bully kid that set off the whole Ferguson issue. He goes into a store, starts stealing, the store owner tries to stop him, and the giant kid physically pushes the older (and smaller) man aside, and so the whole Ferguson mess begins. If that child had any respect for authority, if he'd been taught as he was growing up, then we could have avoided a riot. Unfortunately nobody taught him that and we all know what happened.
    Last edited by fabiodriven; 02-15-2018 at 10:06 PM.
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  13. #43
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    You just can't go around kind of advocating hitting kids. The wrong person hears it or reads it, maybe has a couple drinks then his kid messes up. Then dad thinks it's "kind of" ok the lay a whooping out. But maybe he had a few too many and his kid reminds him of his ex wife? Or he remembers when his dad beat him a little too hard with that belt. All that comes pouring out. Next thing you know the kids in the hospital because he lit off bottle rockets with his freinds or whatever. There's too many crazies out there.
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  14. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by fabiodriven View Post
    That's great Bren. So either you're doing something right or you have good genes or both. Unfortunately that's not as common these days as it used to be. If you and your family are doing good, then none of this applies to you.

    I'm tired of seeing awful children not like yours out and about and if your kids don't need correction, great! Unfortunately that doesn't apply to all children.

    I was out to breakfast a couple months ago when a 10-ish year old baby had an outburst in the middle of the restaurant because something in his breakfast wasn't right. He squealed out over nothing at all and when his mother calmly tried to stop him, he screamed louder. This was a very small restaurant, it was very disturbing, and he controlled the situation, not his mother. He should have been taken out of there and taken home right then and there, but he wasn't. He learned that day if he squeals enough that he will get what he wants and control that situation. Situations such as these are not uncommon.

    Now if you're against other people disciplining their children because you didn't have to, then I don't know what to tell you. If your kid hasn't required much disciplining again, that's awesome, but that doesn't mean there aren't tons and tons of kids out there who need discipline. These are the kids that myself and others are referring to.

    Take that big bully kid that set off the whole Ferguson issue. He goes into a store, starts stealing, the store owner tries to stop him, and the giant kid physically pushes the older (and smaller) man aside, and so the whole Ferguson mess begins. If that child had any respect for authority, if he'd been taught at as he was growing up, then we could have avoided a riot. Unfortunately nobody taught him that and we all know what happened.
    I agree. It was a bad situation. I just can't take when everybody gets all nostalgic for the day when you could just hit a kid. It's not gonna solve the topic of this thread, just like gun control won't.
    Sorry for the tread derailment Ironchop.
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  15. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bren_downe View Post
    You just can't go around kind of advocating hitting kids. The wrong person hears it or reads it, maybe has a couple drinks then his kid messes up. Then dad thinks it's "kind of" ok the lay a whooping out. But maybe he had a few too many and his kid reminds him of his ex wife? Or he remembers when his dad beat him a little too hard with that belt. All that comes pouring out. Next thing you know the kids in the hospital because he lit off bottle rockets with his freinds or whatever. There's too many crazies out there.
    Yes I can, and I am. I'm not talking about beating the bag out of someone. Clearly Chop and others had much stiffer rules and consequences than I did. The amount of times I was actually paddled was very few. Once or twice maybe. Soap in the mouth once or twice, that's all it took, but then I knew that there were consequences to pay for not listening to my parents. I promise you that a paddle on my arse and soap in my mouth was well deserved and as I've grown up, greatly appreciated. There have been only benefits in my life because of the discipline I've received.
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