I am ATTEMPTING to change my ways......EDIT [Archive]

Dirtcrasher

04-04-2015, 05:09 PM

I realized that beer was a huge factor amongst other things and it was affecting my life and ambition to get things done; So I stopped drinking beer and started working out a numerous weeks back. I originally gave it a week with 0 alcohol to see if my mind could handle it.

I found the first 2 weeks to suk but I seem to have leveled out and I have lots more energy and ambition. I have had maybe 12 beers in the past month. It's so nice to not having to worry about maintaining 30 beers in the fridge every time it gets low.

I have not quit forever, but I needed to know if it was a physical dependency or mental. It is confirmed to be more of a mental thing than anything.

So, I'll soon have a few beers on the weekend and certainly at Indiana (vacation with people I love) but I had to see if it were possible.

Prior to this, I couldn't work out and then go downstairs and drink a six pack and eat a bunch of crap because that's not how it works.

It's been more than a month of working out but just 2 weeks of no alcohol. I'm not finding it hard at all; Just had to rewire myself a bit.....

But, these 2 weeks of no alcohol have dropped me 10 lbs. It's hard when dad has bacon and cheese on everything (that's where I got the diet from but it was the norm prior to him moving in with me), to lots of fruits, veggies and boneless chicken, turkey or pork with no cheese or mayonnaise. And I use different rubs or recepies to make it all taste good with carrots, corn, tomatoes or green beans. Those are the veggies I like. Desert might be 1 Rice Krispy treat or a handful of white chocolate pretzels for desert.

So now with no alcohol and no fattening foods I'm ready to get back into running. How can you run or work out and reap the benefits when you continue to drink beer and add cheese and bacon to everything.

I reached 232lbs at (5'10 1/2"s tall) in the first week or so of January and drank beer like a fish. The odd thing is that I think about it, but I don't crave it all that much; I needed a jump-start.

Well, I feel great right now, best I have in years. I can see and feel the changes and my level of ambition is thru the roof.

I make no promises to be this "perfect" forever but if I can keep it up and only drink beer (I was never a hard alcohol guy) on the weekends and keep it in control, I'll be happy.

I really want to look and feel better and be competitive. Losing near 1.5 years due to a horrible accident made me so weak and I just got damn sick of it!!. This morning I was able to bench press 255#s and thats a HUGE increase from where I was a couple months back; Even my injured collar bone and shoulder feel 100% better now that I try to do a workout every 2 days, whereas it was every 4 days at 1st because it was new to my body but I did this before and the results were amazing.

Anyhow, I'm just sharing because I feel as if I got past the hump and my body feels much differently now than it has in near a decade. It's hard with my father eating such junk food all the time, but all I have to do is look at a picture of my upper body and side view of me from this January to today. And my jeans fit me once again.

So, this week I'll begin jogging again and last time although I was quite a bit younger, I could jog 7 miles with the ability to go even farther; But, that did take months! all starting with 1 telephone pole before in need of breath, it will be harder now but you cannot change a person until they want to and look in a mirror and say enough is enough!! When my biggest jeans got tight, I decided enough was enough!!!!!!!!! Now I fit in jeans again and always feel that "good" soreness from staying on track with working out.

We will see how this goes but my mind is in the right place and the rest is following that mindset.

Thanks for reading, Steve - Aka "DIRTCRASHER"........

plastikosmd

04-04-2015, 05:25 PM

Wow

Great to hear!!

Keep it up

atc007

04-04-2015, 06:43 PM

Best news I've heard all week Steve. WOW, I know it is damn tough to do. My hat is off to you and HUGE props go to you. Please stick with it through the tough times. The rewards will be so WORTH IT !! Good for you bud !!!

just ben

04-04-2015, 06:48 PM

As a friend the beer was the least of your worries. It's the other things that "ok" because a doctor gave them to you.

just ben

04-04-2015, 07:03 PM

I almost lost Ken a couple weeks ago to the same trailprotrailprotrailprotrailpro your doctor gives you and says is ok.he was dead and he doesn't even know how far gone he was. His breaths were down to 8/min and his oxygen concentration was about 20 percent. His kidneys were shut down. They had to stick a tube you know were just to get trailprotrailprotrailprotrailpro flowing. Congrats on the drinking part of it but there is other things to work on also.

ironchop

04-04-2015, 07:21 PM

Congrats Steve

a tip of mah hat to you Sir!

86T3

04-05-2015, 01:18 AM

Steve, I'm so happy that you are improving yourself. I need to do the same thing, actually, I think a lot of us need to do the same thing. Thanks for your motivation, I'm going to follow your lead. Check your pm's, I'm gonna send you something

onformula1

04-05-2015, 01:39 AM

DC, that's AWESOME!, keep it up you BIG STUD!

Dirtcrasher

04-05-2015, 03:05 AM

Thanks so much guys. Just the weight loss and not worrying about alcohol were inspiring me.

Yes, I take sleeping pills and 1 - 2mg Clonezapam a day. He originally gave me 6 a day but i was really bad, esp. if I added alcohol.....

I didn't want to tell it all but thats ALL. I'm gonna start chopping the 1 in half and ween myself off.

I do need my sleeping pills though and there allot safer than when I had them with alcohol.

I've been in the shop all night so tonite I won't even bother to take sleeping pills.

Thanks for all the encouragement and the PM's. It's better than the comment I heard one time. "Steve look how not fat you were then" in a picture.

I'll continue to keep you guys aware of how things go but thanks again; I needed to do this but give it a few months!!

More $$ for trike parts :D

EDIT - HAPPY EASTER GUYS!!

TheRealFatShady

04-05-2015, 04:25 AM

Hey Steve,

Although I've been out of the loop lately, I wanted to congratulate you. That's an honest, open, and relate-able story. I actually did a group thing where a few of my buddies went 30 days with no driking after new year's day. Having everyone else do it at the same time gave more of a driving force behind staying with it. I definitely felt what you're feelin' now, and after that I will still drink, but I don't have that desire all the time. I've gotten in better shape and started finishing a lot of projects.

You did this not with a group, but by yourself. Kudos to you, man

Happy Easter

El Camexican

04-05-2015, 04:27 AM

Way to go! Keep it up! (no beer cheers smiley due to the irony)

Ghostv2

04-05-2015, 08:50 AM

RIDE-RED 250r

04-05-2015, 10:29 AM

Steve, I am SO glad to hear this news!

Pulling for you buddy!

Mickey Dunlap

04-05-2015, 11:16 AM

That's great news, but be careful the first few months are called "pink clouding" when everything is going good. I haven't drank in 29 year but even after 4 years I just about went back out again, it's just one day at a time.

coolpool

04-05-2015, 11:47 AM

Great news Steve! I wish I had your gumption and will power. It's funny how easy it seems to drop some weight just by getting rid of beer as a staple. My hat goes off to anyone who has decided to make drastic lifestyle changes for the better.

I have to throw a little humour into the mix; if you had some good Canadian beer in the fridge you wouldn't be inclined to have 6 per night....just saying! ;-)
Pete

JayBone

04-06-2015, 08:38 AM

DC, May 20th will be 3 yrs I have not had a drink & 1 yr & 2 months since quitting smoking. I myself am torn between enegry level and being more mellow. I was wrapped wicked tight when I drank & went 100 mph on everything. Now I like to chill and much more at peace. Not looking to take your fame here though. Just wanted to say congrat's. It's such a positive thing to change yourself and takes constant commitment. Hope you have much success with the new change! Good luck

Caminofeld

04-07-2015, 10:18 AM

I got my back surgery and was out for over a year also. Let me say this, Working (my exercise lol) and staying active is the key to keeping my back from just making me immobile from pain. So keep it up, losing the weight and building up your strength will make you feel normal again.

You said it brother. Back pain sucks and usually never goes away, but there are ways to reduce it to a tolerable level. Mental and physical health go hand in hand, and without one you usually can't have the other. With back injuries core strengthening, flexibility, weight loss, and cardio are key. Sounds like alot, but it's really not that bad...and the benefits are immeasurable. I have been doing my cardio first (very light then increasing in intensity until the last 5 minutes where it gets brutal), then stretching everything out (better to do with warm muscles), then alternating lifting with core (for every arm or leg exercise, I do a core exercise), then a cool down, and stretch again...then a protein shake to fortify those muscles which I just worked. Also, make sure you keep a good posture when sitting, standing, walking, etc. My pain is still there, but not nearly as bad. That's where the mental part comes in. Sometimes you have to use mind over matter, and learn to tolerate or ignore pain and discomfort. Also, with a back injury you won't be the same ever again. It's a tough pill to swallow, but you must come to realize that you can't do everything you used to. Now every lift requires attention to tightening the abs and good posture, combined with self-imposed weight limits. The last thing I'll say is that not every Doctor out there has your best interest in mind. Be wary of pills and surgeries, for they come with grave risks...although some Doctors will tell you it's fine and even encourage narcotics or surgeries. That being said, there are extreme cases where that is necessary, but it should always be a last resort when all other options have failed.

Kismet

04-07-2015, 11:09 AM

Congratulations on taking control of your life. It's a day-by-day deal, but worth it.

Same thing with the jogging. One telephone pole at a time and let your body tell you when to increase the distance.

The sleeping pills?...they always seemed...scary.

Best wishes, in all things.

oldskool83

04-07-2015, 11:29 AM

Contgrats, I do not drink much anymore either and at one point I couldn't. If I have a beer now its with dinner like once every 2 months.

atc300r

04-07-2015, 11:41 AM

Congrats. I quit 10 years ago don't miss it one bit. I noticed how much clearer things where and I felt a lot better. I just need to get back into working out.

Dirtcrasher

04-07-2015, 07:01 PM

I'm still on track, I just don't buy any.....

Working out and feeling tightness and sore all day feels great. I'm in the shop from 6 to near 2AM near every night. Everything is getting done!!

I let my dad move in and asked him to make sure I stayed on the straight and narrow. If I had a beer or 2 he would probably remind me of my goals rather than yell at me.

Mik6 is coming down, we'll go out and have a couple I'm sure; I just can't let it affect Monday thru Friday again but I don't miss it.......

onformula1

04-07-2015, 08:05 PM

You said it brother. Back pain sucks and usually never goes away, but there are ways to reduce it to a tolerable level. Mental and physical health go hand in hand, and without one you usually can't have the other. With back injuries core strengthening, flexibility, weight loss, and cardio are key. Sounds like alot, but it's really not that bad...and the benefits are immeasurable. I have been doing my cardio first (very light then increasing in intensity until the last 5 minutes where it gets brutal), then stretching everything out (better to do with warm muscles), then alternating lifting with core (for every arm or leg exercise, I do a core exercise), then a cool down, and stretch again...then a protein shake to fortify those muscles which I just worked. Also, make sure you keep a good posture when sitting, standing, walking, etc. My pain is still there, but not nearly as bad. That's where the mental part comes in. Sometimes you have to use mind over matter, and learn to tolerate or ignore pain and discomfort. Also, with a back injury you won't be the same ever again. It's a tough pill to swallow, but you must come to realize that you can't do everything you used to. Now every lift requires attention to tightening the abs and good posture, combined with self-imposed weight limits. The last thing I'll say is that not every Doctor out there has your best interest in mind. Be wary of pills and surgeries, for they come with grave risks...although some Doctors will tell you it's fine and even encourage narcotics or surgeries. That being said, there are extreme cases where that is necessary, but it should always be a last resort when all other options have failed.
There is a good book called healing back pain by Dr John Sarno.

He also wrote the mind body connection which deals with back pain and all parts of the body.

He has helped many top athletes go from career ending pain to being pain free and continuing there sport

The Goat

04-13-2015, 12:44 PM

Steve, some know, some don't. But from the age of 19-21 I drank more than anyone should. The day would begin eith concealable mix drinks, I'd head to class. I'd have a few imperial pints with lunch. More class. Shots and more pints before work. Pints with my "lunch" on secomd shift at work. And then close down a bar after work. Then drink straight liqour until everyone passed out and I could finally sleep.

I did this 6-7 days a week for a few years. On the days when I didn't have work, we would drink beer all day, then liqour at night.

It took a while to admit I had a problem. Once I did, a lot of people had to get out of my life. Now, I may have 6 or 7 drinks a month, usually a beer with dinner if at a restaurant.

Getting that out of my life was a huge success. While I have tied one on in the last few years, I have never done anything near what we used to. And now I find it makes me sick the next morning whenever I stupidly have more than a dozen or so drinks. Thankfully that only happens once evwry few years.

You will feel infinitely better.

Now if I can just kick my addiction to good food I'll be much better off.

Dirtcrasher

04-13-2015, 06:22 PM

Thanks GOAT.

Yeah, it's really been slowing me down and making me increase in weight. Neither of which I want to continue.

MIK6 came over yesterday and we worked all day on the 350RX and he even got to do some lathe work!! Anyhow, I had picked up a 12 pack before he got here (normally a 30 pk.) and we each had 3 or 4, I told him it was making me tired......

So, it proved again to make me unmotivated and I'm DAM motivated right now!!

Old habits will always be tough to kick 100%. Glad I never tried, meth, coke or heroin. But I'm obviously aware that I do do have a problem.

Marijuana only makes me tired and nervous (alone that is) so thats off the table too for now.....

And very happy to say, "I'm aware of it and working on it !!"

fabiodriven

05-02-2015, 10:50 PM

Mickey Dunlap

05-02-2015, 11:03 PM

Steve is a drug addict/alcoholic and a liar. He lies to himself every day and this thread is total BS. Those who truly care for him will be honest with him. The only answer for him is NO drugs and NO alcohol. Buy this BS if you like, just remember to hang on to your receipt.

Have to agree, if you are like me you can't have anything. It's been 28 years for me, but I drank and drugged harder then I raced. If I was to have a drink now, I would be right back at it the same as before or harder and would end up dead or in jail. Don't mess around, change the people that you hang around if they use and get to meetings, it's nothing to play around with, you are just fooling your self.

sweetip2000

05-03-2015, 02:08 AM

Hey Steve its a mental and physical dependency. I was in AA for about 10 years had a home group and a sponsor. Its not for everyone but you might want to give it a try. You can talk to others who have the same problems as you and somewhere along the way you will see things in other people that you cant see in yourself.

It doesn't have to be a way of life but a way back to life. I am not the best example because after 10 years I stopped going but I practice everyday what I learned. Best part about it is I have been sober since 1989. Do I still think about drinking ? Yeah when Im thirsty lol. I have come to a conclusion if you have to think about how much you are gonna drink before you drink your an alky lol. Your a great guy and very talented. Don't end up like the lead singer in my band who died of cirrhosis of the liver. It takes a while for the physical dependency to leave you.

I drank a case of Budweiser a day for 10 years, that does not include all the liquor and drugs i did. It took about 3 years to get the beer out of my system, I had a physical addiction to alcohol. It got to a point where I drank to stay sober and stop from shaking but I could not get piss drunk. That's a pretty scary feeling.

If I was sober back in the 80's I could have spent my money on a brand new Honda 350X but instead I decided to piss it all away.

atc007

05-03-2015, 07:24 AM

We're all rooting for ya Steve. I don't have anything more intelligent to add.

oscarmayer

05-04-2015, 12:19 AM

Glad to hear your on the road to better pastures. Could now have happened to a better guy. Keep it up DC!!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

onformula1

05-04-2015, 05:31 AM

Square up the rear/past and twist throttle on down the straight!

I don't know you, but I am pulling for ya!

Keep up the updates, you have Bro's here!

Dirtcrasher

05-04-2015, 01:08 PM

Thanks guys, cutting back on the alcohol wasn't that hard. Whats hard is trying to lose weight fast enough.

I guess with age it's getting harder because when I did this 10 years ago I lost 30lbs pretty quick.

I can't believe that cutting out bacon, cheese and desert hasn't helped me lose more weight faster.

I'm working out here and there but I really need to get some more cardio going on.....

Dirtcrasher

05-04-2015, 02:13 PM

Steve is a drug addict/alcoholic and a liar. He lies to himself every day and this thread is total BS. Those who truly care for him will be honest with him. The only answer for him is NO drugs and NO alcohol. Buy this BS if you like, just remember to hang on to your receipt.

The reason I put this thread up was for encouragement.

I've still drank here or there but for a guy that never skipped a day without a beer for decades, I'm pretty proud of myself to have had allot of non drinking days in the past couple of months and sometimes it is mentally difficult. I accomplish allot more and my father tells me I'm much more fun to be around sober.

All I can do is TRY; And when the guy at the beer store asks you were you've been, you know somethings changed.

It will be my choice to give it up 100% if I ever chose to do so...

poolieZerUK

05-04-2015, 03:10 PM

Keep up the good work.

Everything in moderation, kicking back every now and then is ok.
Just need a bit of self control.

I know, I work at it everyday.

fabiodriven

05-04-2015, 03:16 PM

Mickey Dunlap

05-04-2015, 04:16 PM

I think he's being as honest as he can at this point, he's just not ready to quit completely and no one can make him do it, it has to be when he hits bottom, and everyone's bottom is different.

fabiodriven

05-04-2015, 06:31 PM

You know what Mickey? You're absolutely right. I stopped caring in February after I'd had my fill. I guess I was hoping for one last ditch effort to prevent the hard hit when he finds bottom but it's obviously going to be a requirement. I'm glad we finally agree on something. Enjoy the train wreck everyone and let's keep our fingers crossed he lives!

I will absolutely intervene if I see you attempt to ride, never mind race, in the condition you did in February, and that was more than just alcohol influencing you. Enough people have been hurt. Keep hurting yourself if you must but leave the people with brains that still function to themselves.

El Camexican

05-04-2015, 06:37 PM

The reason I put this thread up was for encouragement.

I've still drank here or there but for a guy that never skipped a day without a beer for decades, I'm pretty proud of myself to have had allot of non drinking days in the past couple of months and sometimes it is mentally difficult. I accomplish allot more and my father tells me I'm much more fun to be around sober.

All I can do is TRY; And when the guy at the beer store asks you were you've been, you know somethings changed.

It will be my choice to give it up 100% if I ever chose to do so...

Hey Steve! Acknowledging a problem and trying to deal with it is half the battle. As long as you keep trying there is hope. The day you stop trying... well, please don't.

Just keep in mind that vices that control us can rarely be returned to habits we control. Smoking, booze, drugs, gambling, etc. Once they've beaten you in a battle you need to win the war, it's kill or be killed. Putting off a drink for a week by telling yourself you'll reward yourself with a drink at the end of the week is not a winning plan. All it proves is that you're not fighting the shakes yet and you don't ever want to get to that stage of it.

Stay strong and be true to yourself, that's the only person you need to look in the eye everyday when you walk up to the mirror.

Peace Bro

atc007

05-04-2015, 09:17 PM

I don't know the behind the scenes here. But Fabio wouldn't be here if he didn't care. Head down and forge through this Steve!! Good luck guys.

jays375

05-05-2015, 09:04 PM

Steve the big cut back is great.In reality it is a temporary band aid.You really should seek out professional help.It would be the best thing to do.Finish what you have started.You took the first step and obviously want to change your life.

Dirtcrasher

05-07-2015, 08:19 PM

It's no secret how honest of a man I am and how much I appreciate honesty in general. This being an open forum all of our collective peers are viewing, I don't see it fit to have them know anything but the truth. Here we have three options at this point;

1- You can make this thread more honest.

2- You can delete this thread.

3- I can make this thread graphically honest.

There was a time John had his fair share of Craigslist women and and an 8 ball, that was maybe 2 years ago. Now he needs the CDL so the 8 ball is out.

But see, he CHANGED!! People can change, or they can at least try can't they?? That's what I'm trying to do here, just change the past and improve the future.

I can see one guy who never will admit to the hookers but seems to impress you guys with 500 word essays on the world documentaries. But the truth is, he had his share of fun but he CHANGED and I'm happy for him.

If he wants to stomp on my best attempts at being a better person, I'll reveal the same.

If anyone has nothing positive to add, it won't help me.

But don't act like the poster child of honesty on 3WW and tear me down and expect me to shut my mouth John.

I expect essays and pictures to follow in retaliation......

atc007

05-07-2015, 08:33 PM

I HATE this guys. You both deserve better. Deep breathe and walk away for awhile. You're 2 great guys,I hope leveler heads prevail :)

fabiodriven

05-07-2015, 09:16 PM

Your words don't effect me Stephen, they are empty. Obviously mine have affected you though. :-)

One of the reasons you're not allowed to be a part of my life right now is because every word I direct at you is for your benefit. Conversely, you spit venom back at me at times. It's OK, I've had more than one confrontation with addicts. It's textbook really. I gave up trying to change you a long time ago, I just asked for honesty. I didn't start this thread, you brought this all out to be discussed, and discuss it we shall. You're not going to lie though. These people deserve to know the truth. After Icefest I got a literal influx of text messages and PM's concerning your behavior and condition. The only person you've managed to hide anything from Stephen, is yourself. Everyone can see what you're doing and trust me when I tell you that it's far more obvious to people observing than you realize. It's just that myself and Craig are the only ones who give it to you how it is. Everyone else is trying to be nice by not being honest with you, but they're not doing you any favors. They're putting air in your tire, but what they don't know is there are a dozen plugs in your sidewall and the new tire is at home. You just keep riding away from there though.

I'm an open book if you know me. All the stories that you covet about me and hold as collateral are known by just about all my friends Steve. It's just that you're the only one who repeatedly attempts to throw them in my face. You tried the same thing in February with your "big revelation" about me to Rory in an attempt to bring me down a peg. Little did you know I had just told Rory that exact story a couple of hours before.

I enjoy life, obviously. What's the point otherwise? But I spread love and good and this I know. Many things in life can be fun in the hands of a responsible, caring human being buddy. It's ill will that worries myself and others, and also the loss of control and ensuing calamities, which are unavoidable at this point. I have chosen my path in life and there are those who will be lost along the way. You are the company you keep you know.

All I've asked for is honesty and if you find that offensive then I'd venture to guess the truth is something quite bothersome, wouldn't you say?

TecateDan

05-07-2015, 09:28 PM

I've known john for 30 years and we've had our fights but honesty has kept us together. Substance abuse is tough to overcome but I belive making amends is one of the steps.

Dirtcrasher

05-07-2015, 09:46 PM

What honesty would you like? The past SUCKED!! I've screwed up YEARS of my life.

I'm trying to better myself, whats your real issue with that? You've deemed it impossible??

Negative Nancy doesn't help at all so bother someone else who still wants to be F'd up.......

Dirtcrasher

05-07-2015, 10:02 PM

Craig? The one you let drink alcohol at every gas stop?

The one who never paid me back the 100$ I lent him?

Thats your exemplary companion??

fabiodriven

05-07-2015, 10:10 PM

I've deemed nothing impossible and I wish you nothing but the best. Your declaration of having "changed your ways" is nothing more than horse shite and has been noted. As long as you live in your past and carry your regrets you will always have too much to carry to continue to the future. Drugs and alcohol are your answer. Enjoy. Please just don't portray yourself as someone you are not and understand that people were afraid to race with you. You have put a beacon on yourself and that's not the kind of attention I associate with. People are going to be watching you and that would have been so even if I had never said anything, that's your doing. You're going to get a wide berth and deservedly so. If something goes wrong though, you can bet people are not going to be happy with you. You've pushed it far enough. None of this has anything to do with me. I take issue with your claims of physical fitness and life improvements as these are things I strive for and succeed at daily, but not without serious effort at first. Now it just comes naturally. I do go to the gym every day, for at least two hours, and that's after work regardless of if I've worked a 12 hour day or not. I don't appreciate your making my hard work and effort into something that you would be the result of. You are falling apart by your own choice and own hand and it's anything but what someone who takes care of themselves looks like, so don't patronize please. You need to look in the mirror and see what everyone else is seeing. Your vision is skewed and you need help. Don't get it if you don't want to, doesn't bother me, but don't lie to everyone else.

fabiodriven

05-07-2015, 10:35 PM

Craig is a big boy and can handle himself. Craig doesn't bother anyone.

Neither of us gave you the $100 dollars you lent each of us. You cost us both a lot more than that. You fail to realize how much of a chore it is to bring you anywhere and I feel no guilt whatsoever about keeping your $100. The three of us put up with a lot from you Steve, A LOT. I work hard, my time off is gold. I spend a ton of money on my time off and like to leave all my worries behind. You, on the other hand, pack a full shipping container of hot mess that gets spattered all over everything. More than enough for an entire group of people. Shame on me for not recording you. I really wish there had been a film crew following you that entire weekend, it's utterly amazing you're incapable of seeing what you are. Not just in spurts either, from the moment we dragged you out of your hospital bed to make the trip you were out of control. We came so close to leaving you comatosed there at your home with your machine in pieces after we all took time off from work to make this trip. We literally loaded your stuff and dragged you out of the house to come with us because we're those kinds of friends, and the audacity you have turning on the only people who would do these things for you. You have tainted so many vacations, rides, and trips with your steaming pile of mess that accompanies you wherever you go. You have caused hospital trips and search parties. When will the search party be for you and not just your trike? When will you figure out that healthy people don't nod off while standing up or in the middle of a run on sentence that has switched subjects 7 times and never made any sense?

Dirtcrasher

05-07-2015, 10:41 PM

You just don't get that I have not seen nor spoke to you in 4 months.

Thats the past, and this is my best ATTEMPT at the future.

My family sees the change in me and sees me all the time, you do not.

If YOU can change I can change.

And it's funny that you protest to trying to make me aware of myself (help me) and then you add a smiley face that you "affected me". Nice touch.

Your just a big phoney, I've admitted my problems. Should we explore your past??

Now you put Craig on a pedestal and he'll be replying. Still owes me 100$ though.....

Dirtcrasher

05-07-2015, 10:51 PM

roostin atc

05-07-2015, 10:52 PM

All I can say is your actions have been seen by many people. I wish you the best of luck on your recovery. This thread is not about me so leave me out of it.

Howdy

05-07-2015, 10:55 PM

Calm down people before further action gets taken.

Dirty laundry don't get hung out on your front lawn for all to see, so why are we hanging it out here?

Howdy

Dirtcrasher

05-07-2015, 11:12 PM

^ Hey, I'm off to bed for work tomorrow and tomorrow night preps for TF15.

I asked for encouragement, not negativity but I can't sit here and read someone stomping on me without replying.

I just want to update my progress from time to time.....

fabiodriven

05-08-2015, 06:19 AM

Your generosity was always compensated for and reciprocated as we both know. You obviously wouldn't keep doing things for someone that didn't reciprocate. I don't count favors and hold them against people, I help those I like because I'd like to. Either way, you can name call and finger point in an attempt to distract all you want. You started a thread about your drinking and you haven't even acknowledged your drug use. Those two go hand in hand without question. There is no such thing as drinking in moderation for you and even if there were, you aren't supposed to be drinking AT ALL on those drugs for obvious reasons. One of your famous lines, that you took less medication or skipped your dose that day, is irrelevant. It takes a long time for that garbage to leave your system and only minute amounts of alcohol will have a drastic effect with those drugs in your system. Your only hope is no drugs or alcohol.

I understand why you keep trying to disparage me, but it's not going to work. Addicts always bite those the closest to them the hardest. You know as well as I that I'm no phony. I am who I am and I am very real. Once again, I wish nothing but the best and fail to see the negativity in that. I truly do wish you would get through this so I could have my friend back and watch you get everything from life you deserve. We'll all still be here if you make it to that point buddy, smiley faces and everything! :-)

Now that things are a bit more honest I'll leave your thread alone. Just remember buddy, you're only fooling yourself! :-D

83ATC185

05-08-2015, 09:41 AM

Guys is this really how we want the world to see the three wheeler crowd? I feel like i should say that the whole world is watching us here and we should try our best to represent ourselves in a positive light, there's already a huge shadow cast on us as it is.

fabiodriven

05-08-2015, 10:05 AM

Copy and paste anything bad, negative, untrue, or disparaging that I have said, and that goes for anyone.

83ATC185

05-08-2015, 11:06 AM

I agree with what you are saying and about being honest with yourself. That is the only way to really change yourself and your life. I wish him the best. I really do because known and been friends with a lot of people in his situation and i also know you can't tell them anything they don't want to hear. I appreciate that you are trying to help him and standing up and being honest. You guys are friends and that's between y'all.I just hate seeing people that I've come to respect for their knowledge and contributions on this board being this way. He has my best wishes, although i don't see how he will make any progress the way he is going. Maybe i came on too harsh with my post but it was truly a heartfelt statement.

sledcrazyinCT

05-08-2015, 01:07 PM

Steve not knowing you aside from what I read on 3WW, improving your life is a gradual thing and nobody but yourself is going to make that happen. It is great news you are drinking less and realize you are more productive when sober! This realization alone will make it easier to change your life for the better.

While it is nice to have supportive friends, bottom line is you are doing it for yourself (and possibly family) no one else. Every person has their own way of dealing with addictions and the fact you are aware of your potential problems and are attempting to change is wonderful.

Everyone commenting here cares enough to post. Many have experienced difficulty with alcohol and drugs, myself included, and I am glad folks here offer advice on how they changed as this may help you in sobriety.

Mickey Dunlap

05-08-2015, 02:00 PM

PM sent.

Please read!

ironchop

05-08-2015, 02:09 PM

.....While it is nice to have supportive friends, bottom line is you are doing it for yourself (and possibly family) no one else....

THIS is the absolute truth.....if you are battling addiction to impress other people, you aren`t ready to quit. It`s all about you and only about you. You make amends later after you`re worthy of trust again

...... Many have experienced difficulty with alcohol and drugs, myself included.......

Me too, so I`m not judging anyone but I wished I had a friend like that bichslap me years ago so I would have stopped lying to everyone about everything so much sooner.

That`s a I have to say about this other than "go Steve!"

fabiodriven

05-08-2015, 03:07 PM

Haha, oh jeez... For the record I've never had an addiction problem with anything other than cigarettes. I was prescribed k-pins as well twice. I have abused them and my second time they started to get a hold of me. I got rid of them before it became a problem. I have never had anything close to a cocaine addiction or problem ever.

By the way, this is not the first time I've had this conversation with Steve. On the contrary actually. Any time we get really deep into his addictions he feels the need to return fire as if he's being attacked, so he brings up things told to him in good faith, and told to many of my friends actually, that he believes I should feel shame for. The truth is that I don't have many regrets and those that I do have are not even on his radar.

Any "problems" I've had in the past most of you already know about. There's most likely a thread for just about each one. The difference between my problems and Steve's is that my problems effect me. I bear the brunt, they're my problems. People wouldn't know if I didn't tell them. Steve's problems are directed outward, and by that I mean his problems will become yours as well. It's just one huge mess after the next that will indefinitely have a drastic affect on your day. As I said, hospital visits, search parties, things destroyed, things missing, camper fires, etc. The only way to avoid these things is to remove yourself from the situation and I have washed my hands. My watch is over.

ironchop

05-08-2015, 03:41 PM

83ATC185

05-08-2015, 04:07 PM

nevermind then. fixed it. :cool:

and K-pins SUCK.....they work for all of fifteen minutes and by week two, you want two a day instead of one.

My doc said they would help me stop getting in fights but it seems like I just wanted to fight people even more when they wore off so I quit `em

Yes! i thought it was just me! Unexplainable rage.

fabiodriven

05-08-2015, 04:09 PM

Unexplainable rage you say? No way!

83ATC185

05-08-2015, 04:25 PM

as in there was no one around so i beat the trailprotrailprotrailprotrailpro outta myself, banging my head through the wall and eventually knocking myself out. Also wrecked my truck on purpose. And put loaded guns to my head. Its not exactly a medication they should just prescribe. It literally made me go crazy.

fabiodriven

05-08-2015, 04:28 PM

Say it ain't so! People going crazy on k-pins? I don't believe it!

sledcrazyinCT

05-08-2015, 04:39 PM

and K-pins SUCK.....they work for all of fifteen minutes and by week two, you want two a day instead of one. Yep make you more anxious IMO. Doctors will only give out Clonzepam these days for anxiety, no more Valium or diazepam prescribed they are too potent and addictive so the experts say.

BTW Clonazepam should never be a substitute for Valium. Very surprised to hear people react aggressively taking them...though LIPITOR reacted with me so badly it would make me want to rip people's heads off over nothing, lost a lot of weight and turned me into an insomniac.

ironchop

05-08-2015, 04:57 PM

Yep make you more anxious IMO. Doctors will only give out Clonzepam these days for anxiety, no more Valium or diazepam prescribed they are too potent and addictive so the experts say.

BTW Clonazepam should never be a substitute for Valium. Very surprised to hear people react aggressively taking them...though LIPITOR reacted with me so badly it would make me want to rip people's heads off over nothing, lost a lot of weight and turned me into an insomniac.

lol....Man, Lipitor made me hallucinate. I was already taking Darvocet for my open heart surgery and I thought it was them so I quit them after just four pills. Kept taking the Lipitor and my hallucinations got worse till I quit the lipitor

I was always embarrassed to talk about the Clonazepam and all that. Made me feel weak of mind for taking them. Kinda nice knowing I ain`t the only one.

we have hijacked the hell out of this thread.

fabiodriven

05-08-2015, 05:04 PM

Haha, nope! You're right on track Doug!

Dirtcrasher

05-09-2015, 12:17 AM

Glad to say I've weened myself down to 1mg a day each morning.

Does not mix well with alcohol, hence the past problems.

Same medication John was prescribed more than once. No worries, he'll continue to bash my thread that if he didn't give a chit, he never would have posted anything.

Maybe it was his trip to Germany to meet a 16 y.o. from Russia that spoke no english that helped him get off the medication :crazy:

Try dealing with 21 apartments and the problems within and not getting stressed out or anxious.

Anyway, I'm doing my best and will continue to post my progress. Thanks to those who have encouraged me.....

fabiodriven

05-09-2015, 07:37 AM

Glad to hear you've weened yourself down to most people's maximum dosage! Now for the sleeping pills! Don't forget those too!

Obviously most of you know Steve and I were friends for a number of years. We live 10 minutes from each other. What most of you do not realize is how many times I've heard this whole rigamarole. For years now he's "cutting back" on everything! Then the next day I'll show up at his house and find him zonked out on the kitchen floor with the fridge open and the hot water running in the sink. Could have been 10 minutes, could have been 10 hours. Remember that? Probably not! I know you find these kinds of stories embarrassing Steve, hence your attempts at getting to me. All I'm doing is relaying the truth though, and not to embarrass you. I am attempting to make you see something you've trained your mind's eye to pretend doesn't exist, your drug and alcohol problem that affects you and those around you drastically. Honestly I could sit here and write stories all day, but that's not what I want to do. You have had some really serious injuries lately and hurt other people and other people's property. I just fail to see the gain with the continuance of the heavy drug use. It's your life, keep doing what you're doing if that's what you want, but once again all I asked for was honesty. Don't try to save face and pretend you're all better because you're not and you won't be until you're off all drugs and alcohol. I have years of experience with you and your reasoning and your "cutting back", years buddy. Never have I ever seen any positive results. It's the same thing every time.

We all work, we all have stress, you're not the only one! Last week we worked out of state, gone from my home for 7 days straight. From the time we left our shop to one week later we worked no less than 13 hours each day with multiple back-to-back 16 hour shifts, and my job is not easy! I'm a foreman and my worker that they initially gave me is an ex-con. We lasted until day 4, he wouldn't take any direction so I was forced to yell at him and he almost took my head off! Did a 23 hour shift 3 days ago. 10 hours in the 10 wheeler, one hour home to shower and eat, back at it in the dump trailer overnight because you just can't make time through Boston during the day! The whole rest of my company was able to work the next day due to my push for the material they needed. I collapsed when I got home! Don't make your problems special, they're not! Everyone has stress but not everyone resorts to drugs!

Julia is actually about 10 years younger than me. She was 20 and I was 31 I think. What a fantastic time that was, Germany in the early summer and a beautiful young Russian lady to hang out with! I was hoping to make that same trip again, possibly this year. Unfortunately I have lost contact with Julia, her Facebook has been gone since mid-winter or so. She most likely got a boyfriend or possibly married. That was a great trip though! Who else you know that does stuff like that? I literally have friends all over the world!

http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r275/fabiodriven/240055_2000746459240_6877479_o_zpskqdwtjh0.jpg (http://s146.photobucket.com/user/fabiodriven/media/240055_2000746459240_6877479_o_zpskqdwtjh0.jpg.htm l)

jeffatc250r

05-09-2015, 09:06 AM

Thats it, coke N' hookers on the next ride

fabiodriven

05-09-2015, 09:20 AM

OK here's a freebie for ya bud since you're trying so hard to take me down!

Trikefest 2013, right when we arrived. I was a hot mess that year. I was on a prescription at that time for k-pins. The Stud witnessed this, he can tell you this is true. I unloaded my DR from the trailer and immediately rode to the backbone where I began attempting to ascend the hill. Three attempts one after the next all resulted in myself and the machine tumbling down the hill. One time I made it almost 1/64th of the way up! I was bleeding and Jonathan had seen enough so he called off the event at that time because he's a good friend. He stopped me, you dig?

Oh, smile! :-)

fabiodriven

05-09-2015, 10:16 AM

I wouldn't know. Julia is a friend and nothing more. I gave her a peck on the cheek when we parted ways though!

Dirtcrasher

05-09-2015, 01:17 PM

I began this thread with positive thoughts and actions. I still have that mindset but the thread has turned into a train wreck.

I'm not deleting it or editing it (except for the title yesterday which is more appropriate) but post whatever you wish.

I'm not replying to anything in a negative manner anymore, it's just not helping and childish.

Thanks so much to those who have sent me private messages and emails with their thoughts or past experience and encouragement.....

I'll be seeing lots of you at Trikefest15 :D

TecateDan

05-09-2015, 05:00 PM

OK here's a freebie for ya bud since you're trying so hard to take me down!

Trikefest 2013, right when we arrived. I was a hot mess that year. I was on a prescription at that time for k-pins. The Stud witnessed this, he can tell you this is true. I unloaded my DR from the trailer and immediately rode to the backbone where I began attempting to ascend the hill. Three attempts one after the next all resulted in myself and the machine tumbling down the hill. One time I made it almost 1/64th of the way up!I was bleeding and Jonathan had seen enough so he called off the event at that time because he's a good friend. He stopped me, you dig?

Oh, smile! :-)

Is that before or after you decided to roll our 500 ? Jack - wagon

fabiodriven

05-09-2015, 05:27 PM

Trikefest!!!

That was before the 500 and I bonded.

El Camexican

05-10-2015, 09:40 AM

Julia is actually about 10 years younger than me. She was 20 and I was 31 I think. What a fantastic time that was, Germany in the early summer and a beautiful young Russian lady to hang out with! I was hoping to make that same trip again, possibly this year. Unfortunately I have lost contact with Julia, her Facebook has been gone since mid-winter or so. She most likely got a boyfriend or possibly married. That was a great trip though! Who else you know that does stuff like that? I literally have friends all over the world!

http://i146.photobucket.com/albums/r275/fabiodriven/240055_2000746459240_6877479_o_zpskqdwtjh0.jpg (http://s146.photobucket.com/user/fabiodriven/media/240055_2000746459240_6877479_o_zpskqdwtjh0.jpg.htm l)

Cute! That must have been a fun time. Here's a song that comes to mind...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLet_aHMHbM