Death

[dustrunner]

I have been sleeping on the floor so I can give meds every few hrs. to my dad. he has filled with cancer and they sent him home . time stands still...I can hear every rumble inside him... I know a lot of my trike buddies have been thru this , just looking for a few suggestion to help ease the pain . :(

[El Camexican]

I don't know if this will help Eric, but I'll try...

Never forget that death is a fact of life. Try as we might, it can't be escaped, only invited, or avoided by the actions and circumstances of our lives.

Death is not a punishment, it's a cost for having lived and a reminder to all that we should make the most of our lives as we can.

When you look at your Dad in that bed, don't think of him as dying, think of him as having lived. Reflect on all the great things he's experienced to now, especially the ones he's shared with you.

He's suffering now, as are you, but soon it will be over, his pain will be gone, but yours will linger. Sooth it with all the good times he's shared with you. Let him live on in your mind and in the stories about him that you will share with others.

Tell him everything you've ever wanted to tell him, confess to every stupid thing you never admitted to as a kid, tell him how much you love him and don't ever forget what it feels like to open up to him, because these are the last moments you'll ever have to look back on when you think about him as the years pass and little things happen that remind you of him. Regret is the cut that never heals, let it all out now while he's still breathing, conscious of not.

I hope something in this post can give you a little peace. God bless brother.

[Aulbaugh]

Thoughts and Prayers to your family.

[atc007]

First off, you have to take care of you first. Get out and walk/ride. Carefully of course,but get up in the woods and relax a little. Cherish every moment. But you know that now. His suffering now will give way to relief that he is out of pain,but then the next pain kicks in,and frankly,,,it never goes away. The old you will be just that. Nothing you look at ever again will be the same. Just when you think you are maybe done grieving, the stupidest little thing will crush you. The pain never goes away,it just gets slightly less. It is different for everyone,but that is how it was for me. I'm not too far away if I can do anything for you. Take care of yourself.

[plastikosmd]

My thoughts and prayers

[RIDE-RED 250r]

Last week was the one year anniversary of my Dad losing his fight with IPF. His last few weeks were very hard on him and the day he died was the worst day of my life. I still sorely miss him, every single day. He passed at only 61 years young and at times I have been mad at the world, God, the universe, whatever name you want to call it because my Dad's life was cut so short while absolute degenerates I know live on for years and years. I know it's not the right attitude to have and it's not something I dwell on, just one of the many emotions I have experienced. The day before Dad passed, we all knew he wouldn't last much longer and I was able to tell him one last time that I loved him and he nodded his head in acknowledgement. One of the last few things he said to me was something he said often, that he was proud of me. These are the things I try to keep in the forefront every day as I remember and miss him in day to day life. I wish I could tell you that you will move on, but you really don't ever move on. The intense sting of grief and loss experienced early on does fade a bit, but I have yet to really move on and I don't think I even want to.

I truly can relate to what you are going through, and I wish you all of the comfort, courage, and peace of mind possible. Many heartfelt and true words have been posted here above me in this thread and I do not disagree with any of it. Just keep doing what you are doing, being there for your Dad as he was for you as you were growing up and confide in your family as much as possible. My family has always been very close, even to the point that outsiders would sometimes think we were a little weird. But let me tell you, if not for my family and our closeness, I would never have been able to get through that time with my sanity.

Take care and may God bless you and yours in this trying time.

[86T3]

I'm so sorry Dustrunner. I wish your dad and family the best

[dustrunner]

Thanks everyone. A few words go a long way. just mixed up the mornings medicine, As I sit here listening to the "death rattle " just keep wondering why some just drop dead ? like my grandfather did and my father wanted to....

[Arky-X]

Lost my Dad in October of 2014 to lung cancer. I feel for you and pray for you. No words I can say that will make it all go away so do as others have said and tell him how much you love him. I told my Dad thanks......thanks for teaching me how to be a husband and a Dad. All you can do is leave nothing unsaid and cry. Hug your loved ones and cry. It will take time to heal but eventually you will realize how fortunate you were to have him in your life. So many never had that blessing.

Thoughts and prayers with you.

[atc007]

Thanks everyone. A few words go a long way. just mixed up the mornings medicine, As I sit here listening to the "death rattle " just keep wondering why some just drop dead ? like my grandfather did and my father wanted to....

Maybe a little TMI,,but my Uncle smoked and passed from cancer,, The sounds that came out of that mans gut were astounding. I'm talking us all sitting there in the living room, him with almost a smile on his face,engaging in conversation. His suffering drew out for months. He would say,,,the vultures are circling!! He was quite the riot. I know exactly what you mean about those sounds. Hang in there and get outside for a quick rip. It will be your saving grace.

[dustrunner]

Maybe a little TMI,,but my Uncle smoked and passed from cancer,, The sounds that came out of that mans gut were astounding. I'm talking us all sitting there in the living room, him with almost a smile on his face,engaging in conversation. His suffering drew out for months. He would say,,,the vultures are circling!! He was quite the riot. I know exactly what you mean about those sounds. Hang in there and get outside for a quick rip. It will be your saving grace. Welp, I would hate for him to need me so im sitting her watching. looks like another long night. oh well as someone said I will feel good I sacrificed in the end. THNAK S AGAIN ALL.

[atc007]

Hang in there . Is he on Morphine? Hospice? Morphine is good stuff at this stage. It also can help them out....

[dustrunner]

Yes to both. The morphine has really helped him with the pain. but he just lays there. so sad !

[dustrunner]

This morning my best friend lost his battle with that damb cancer . My brain is just going crazy ( like on a roller coaster ) Time to toughen up i guess.

[86T3]

I'm so sorry man. If there is anything I can do send me a PM.

[tripledog]

I would like to offer my sincere condolences. It hasn't yet been 2 years since my Dad passed. I try to honor my Dad by treating others as he would have. I think about him every day, and while the pain of loss may never go away, I find some solace in knowing that he lived his life, loved his family and friends, and is finally at peace. Now is the time for you to be with family and friends, for being stoic and distant during such a difficult time is not good for one's well being. Don't let the pain and negative thoughts overpower you. I wish the best for you and your family.

Just as 86T3 offered, if you need an ear to bend, feel free to PM me.

[atc007]

Very well said Trip. Lean on whoever you have and laugh about the good times. You wouldn't wish him back in the shape he was in. I'm right here if there is anything I can do for you. Probably a little late for this,,but. In our town there are 2 funeral parlors. One is about a 200 YO home,been around as long as I can remember,,the other is shiny and new. Pavement resealed every year etc.. The old one is $1200 for a cremation and funeral service. The other is $5000. The old one is $3300 for a new casket and a funeral, the other is $9000. I guess people do not shop at a time like this?? It befuddles my mind how the new one has ever had a single customer,,and yet , they thrive! My neighbor,and Uncle,have both had funerals at the new one in the last year,,,,Then their families start complaining about the price of a funeral. Me being me,,I have to politely try and bring into the conversation,,it doesn't have to be. Your Dad is tearing it up on a Big Red smiling his ass off. Take care.

[Rmac86]

Very sorry to hear about your loss. Sending thoughts and prayers to you and your family. This is never an easy situation to go through but as many have said before me, you will get through this. Take every situation for what it is worth and try and find the positive in it. You lost your best friend, but your best friend is no longer suffering. I was faced with the same situation when it came to my son and his passing, but in the end it made me a better father to my other kids as they have grown over the years and always made me find the light in every bad situation. Stay positive and cherish all the memories and good times that you two shared, that is the best way to always keep him alive and near.

[RIDE-RED 250r]

Condolences to you and yours :(

[dustrunner]

Thanks eceryone for all the kind thought's..it really helps.

[dustrunner]

Another sleepless nite, I cant believe how much work is involved in a persons passing. And for some reason im the only one doing all the work. Hopefully it gets easier soon.

[atc007]

Luckily,,or not so luckily. I had about 8 years to prepare our Estate,so, there were no worries that way . Didn't make it any easier,just different. It is a lot to wrap up someones life for sure. You gotta take care of yourself ! Grab naps when you can, there's no shame in a good nap!

[dustrunner]

Never been a napper, for years I would only get between 4-5 hrs of sleep peer night. I thought time would help , but today was the worst day so far. just keeping my chin up .

[El Camexican]

Never been a napper, for years I would only get between 4-5 hrs of sleep peer night. I thought time would help , but today was the worst day so far. just keeping my chin up .

Take care of yourself. Eat right, sleep when you can and focus on the good in life whenever possible.

[redsox]

Late to the thread here, but i'm very sorry for your loss. its such a tough, tough thing. The sadness will never go away, but it will lessen, and, if you try not to get angry, or, work through your anger, the fondness will arrive and that is really the only bright part. Telling his story to friends and family, especially the next generation. Pass on the good things he taught you. Good luck man. hang in there.