A Smart Blonde

[Scootertrash]

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and visa-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $50!" figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match.

This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows.

All to no avail. After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $50. The blond politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

[dustrunner]

nice one.....anyone else got a good one ?

[Slingblade]

A communist, a Marxist, and a socialist walk into a bar.


The bartender then asks, "What can I get you, Mr. President?"

[Scootertrash]

[Lord Letto 20]

How fast can you guess these words?

1. BOO_S

2. _ _ NDOM.

3. F_ _ K

4. P_ N _S

5. PU_S_

6. S_X

[ColtonGG33]

^^ sounds like someone's getting a little horny lol

[CRAZY70MAN]

A horse walked into a bar and the bartender said.."Hey buddy.....why the long face?".......

[Lord Letto 20]

^^ sounds like someone's getting a little horny lol

Answers:1. BOOKS 2. RANDOM 3. FORK 4. PANTS 5. PULSE 6. SIX. You got all 6 wrong, didn't you? haha

[hoosierlogger]

Answers:1. BOOKS 2. RANDOM 3. FORK 4. PANTS 5. PULSE 6. SIX. You got all 6 wrong, didn't you? haha

Every damn one lol

[hoosierlogger]

There is a woodworking student who claims he can identify wood species by smell alone. They blindfold him and place a board under his nose. He inhales deeply, pauses for a second and says "yellow pine". That is correct replied the elder teacher.
The teacher then places a second board in front of him. He took a deep breath and replied "black oak". Once again the teacher replied correct.

Give me one more replied the student in a cocky manner. He teacher put his wife's dirty underware ( don't ask me why he had them with him) On the next board. The student took a deep breath, paused and said...... "That's the outhouse door from an old tuna boat"

[wisconsinite]

Two blondes walked into a bar. The brunette ducked.

[Scootertrash]

Three legged dog walks into a saloon
Bartender: "What can I do for ya?
Dog: "I'm lookin fer the man who shot my paw"

[CRAZY70MAN]

Three legged dog walks into a saloon
Bartender: "What can I do for ya?
Dog: "I'm lookin fer the man who shot my paw"

that is some funny chit there......... How about the russian blonde and the american blonde arguing about space???? The russian blond says " We were the first to orbit the moon" The american replies.."Well...we were the first to land on the moon!!" The russian blonde says well....we will be the first to orbit the sun!! The american blonde says..Oh ya.....we will be the first to land on the sun!!!,, Russian replies......uhhhhh you will burn up?? The americam blonde replies "Duhhhh..not if you land on it at night"!!

[wheelsforheels]

Okay, its not a blonde joke, but one of my favorites.

The Tiny Cabin

A social worker from a big city in Massachusetts recently transferred to the mountains of West Virginia and was on the first tour of her new territory when she came upon the tiniest cabin she had ever seen in her life. Intrigued, she went up and knocked on the door.

"Anybody home?" she asked.

"Yep," came a kid's voice through the door.

"Is your father there?" asked the social worker.

"Pa? Nope, he left afore Ma came in," said the kid.

"Well, is your mother there?" persisted the social worker.

"Ma? Nope, she left just afore I got here," said the kid.

"But," protested the social worker, (thinking that surely she will need to intervene in this situation) "are you never together as a family?"

"Sure, but not here," said the kid through the door. "This is the outhouse!"

Government workers are so very smart.
______________________________________________

Have a good day all. The snow is just about all melted here. I used to ride the trikes a lot in the winter when I lived close to the snow machine trails. Now I live on a steep hill with no good places to wheel when its low traction. Glory days are here again! Beautiful mud!

[beets442]

I give advice!.....Hi Bob, I really need your advice on a serious problem:
I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs: if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out with the girls a lot.
I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep.
Anyway last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind t...he boat. When she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on.
It was at that moment crouched behind the boat that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard engine mounting bracket.
Is that something I can weld or do I need to replace the whole bracket??
ANSWER: I'd replace the bracket!