Fell off the wagon tonight

[kebby28]

Its been almost 5 years since I have drank. Been working AA for the past couple. Met a girl there, proposed, was engaged she started drinking again. Put up with it for months... Now she just wants her time to drink. Very sad. Now I'm drinking. I need to buy a project sx or r to take my mind off things. Working on my 3 wheeler and riding it is the best meditation I have found. Looks like I will have plenty of time for that now. I was the only father her 2 year old son had and he called me daddy. I'm sick of being an alcoholic. I'm sick of not being able to save other alcoholics that don't want help.
Sorry for the sob story. She is a beautiful 26 year old that is heavily influenced by her drunken physiologist mother.

[Mickey Dunlap]

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[kebby28]

I have a sponser. Been through the steps but stopped on step 12. I wouldn't call him tonight because I felt I needed to do this just to see if I could drink like a normal person now... its midnight and I'm still awake and drinking alone so, I would say its going well

[Mickey Dunlap]

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[dougspcs]

I'm fortunate in that I have never had to deal with this condition personally,..though my family is full of it. My grandfather, grandmother, father, father-in-law, sister-in-law all battled this disease.

My father-in-law is the only one who has found his way back..he decided all on his own about 5 years ago and just quit. Went thru all the hell of drying out with absolutely no help or support..there was no event that made him do this. He just decided after 45 years he'd had enough!!!

After 20 years being part of their family, he was the father, husband and grandfather I'd never met..an amazing man emerged!

When my mother-in-law got sick 2 years ago he was the husband she needed. He was her strength and love, by her side fighting with her for 4 long months of hospitalization before she was taken..something he could have never been before he stopped drinking! I'd never seen someone with that strength before, he truely is my hero!

There is no winning at alcoholism, just learning to live with the symptoms and make the right choices for today...

Any of my personal family members that thought they had dried themselves and might be able to handle 'social drinking' have not ended well.

Good luck to you Kebby on your future choices..and your family too. I hope you can find your defining moment like he did..

[joesouth]

Good luck to you Sir. Spend that alcohol money on a new 3 wheeler project!!

[jb2wheels]

Tough situation. You can only help you. Move on (leave the girl). Sorry.

[atc007]

I agree. It hurts ,but she's bad news. And the little guy makes it heart wrenching. But you gotta cut her out of your life. Good luck staying straight

[tri again]

Fascinating topic and a situation that can weave throughout
every aspect of our lives.
Most painful is trying to help and getting nowhere.
or making things worse even with the best of intentions.

I can't even count how many times I've loaned $, fixed things only to be told I'm probably 'enabling'.
As with any addiction, the 'cure' is specific.
Even gambling has been shown to mimic the brain chemistry of coke/crank.

I'm sure you've heard it all before and you should be proud that you KNOW you can do it. You've done it before.

I've got a dear friend that needs 2 beers before he even gets out of bed.
I do what I can but it still breaks my heart.

There are new medications that can block the cravings, as opposed to antabuse that will just make you sick if you drink.
I'll see if I can find a name for you.

A hobby is a great idea and they say try not to get too hungry angry lonely or tired. So filling up free time is a good idea.

The family connection is also fascinating.
I asked my dad if grandpa was a alcoholic, he said no, he was just an ass&^%$.
With all the patterns and behaviors, I asked who the alcoholic was.
It turns out, my grandfathers dad was a raging drunk, abusive and everything else.
The message here was that this pattern was started over 100 years ago and has filtered down through our entire family.
My daughters mom used to YELL at her all the time.
She said that's the way she was raised.
I said it was time to stop the patterns nd have NEVER raised my voice to my daughter...never had to.

Sorry for the longwindedness, but it's good to review and reconfirm that not drinking is the best option.

I KNOW you can do it.
Keep you sponsors number handy and maybe even get a couple more.
Also NOthing wrong with alanon meetings to see what sober people are concerned with.
Another common meeting is called CODA, aka codependents anon.
Why do 'we', as caring loving people, make things worse by trhing to help?

The hardest thing for me is "detachment with love". We're not supposed to bail them out.
Hang in there and be good to yourself. Treat yourself as if you were your own child.
Spend that alcohol $ on something fun for yourself or just put it in a jar and stare at it as it grows.
You can do it.

[tri again]

Another annoying tidbit.
They say if we start drinking after 25 years sober, it's like we never quit.
meaning it's like we drank for those 25 sober years, not restarting where we left off.

...sorry, it's been bugging me lately and somewhere in the mix is an answer.

Take care everyone.

I gotta get some timbers and brace for the ice storm.
Thanks the gods for trikes and chainsaws.

[tri again]

Hope I didn't offend anyone about ETOH. (ethanol)

All day on the utility trikes (x3) and back inside now....20 F degrees.
Big ice storm coming.

Forgot to say that we (i) me and most of us on 3ww want to fix things.
Thats why we're here.
I still feel helpless with the addicted partner.

i get to the point fixing a carb or anything else, for that matter,
if i was in the middle of a 3 day fix, and you tapped me on the shoulder with a brand new whatever, carb, coil, etc.
I be inclined to decline 'cause I waaaaaaaaana fix what I got.

Wish I had better news.

[JayBone]

1 yr 8 months sober for me. After the 23 yr party.

It's not going to be easy but she needs to go! You can't help her & the daughter. As much as you want to.
The stress is too much. I'm sorry for what you are going through and it's sooo not easy. She isn't bringing anything (positive) to the table in the relationship anymore. Surround yourself with the right people. It's so important. I hope you get back into riding, meetings. Good luck!

[oldskool83]

having a drink is ok, abusing it is what gets you in trouble. I stopped drinking 2 years ago. however there have been times where it is the only thing around say at a party or my work lunch times when they have cook outs for us and I just have 1. Drinking is over rated so hopefully you can get that thru the other ones head. Sitting at home having somthing or with family get together is fine. Hopefully it all works out for you.