If its not one thing its another

[slashfan7964]

Just my luck.

As if my household wasn't in bad enough shape as it is (money problems, severe medical issues etc), one more thing had to be tacked onto the list. Normally I wouldn't bother posting this here, but this is SERIOUSLY bothering me.

Met this girl about 7 years ago. Had a huge crush on her for years, never went anywhere. I was too scared to make a move, have my heart broke blah blah blah. Well a few months back we finally started "talking". Ya know, real stuff. Mind you I have has incredibly strong feelings for her for years now, enough that its ruined new relationships and friendships. I know.

Well things were going great, she'd stop be and see me every so often.

With everything on my mind lately, my mom, money probs, driving etc, I figured if go up to this pond out in front of my house. Conveniently, this girl lives up the street from me.

So I get there. Took a walk to the pond out back as I had noticed there was people there. Figured she'd taken her siblings fishing like they usually do.

Oh they were there all right.

SO WAS HER GOD DAMN BOYFRIEND!!!!

She saw me and her jaw dropped, face turned 5 shades of red and she high tailed it out of there almost in a run as fast as she could. Like I literally couldn't even talk to her.

I'm crushed. I've been crying since 7 last night and its 1:15am now. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I'm the kind of guy who never gets upset like this; people pass away and its not to this magnitude, as bad as that sounds its just how I am. I was raised to be a hardass when I shouldn't e.

To put into perspective how much I really care for her; had it worked I would have put a ring on her finger. In fact I planned on it; wanted a family and everything. Didn't and don't want this with anyone else; it was her or it wasn't happening.

What pisses me off more is that she lead me on for a very very long time only for it to bite me in the ass. It wouldn't have been so bad if she said "hey look, its not going to work but I still want to be friends". But no, I had to walk up on them.

Not sure what I'm going to do now, but things were really looking up in my life for a while; I lost weight, quit smoking, quit drinking, took more care in being reckless to prevent injury, quit doing a lot of things I shouldn't have been.

Anyways, needed to get that off my chest. After all these years just to have it thrown in my face...hurts. Really does.

[atc007]

I know these are just words. But, there are PLENTY of fish in the sea bud. I know,I know,,she was the one lol,,,and MAYBE ,,she is. Obviously,,she does have feelings for you, Or she would have laughed it off. Not hightailed it out of there. While I'm not saying we should all strive for ,,how do I put this,,,very promiscous girls .. The more jerks and heartache they've encountered,makes them a lot more grateful to have a good guy in the end. 1 BF for her is not the end of the world. This too will probably pass,especially after what he saw the other night. Tell her exactly how you feel. Both of your windsprints out of there pretty much opened up the lines of communication. Tell her. Leave it all on the table,and move on. Maybe with her,maybe without her. You're doing everything right by dropping all the stupid habits you've listed. Keep up the good work, hold your head up high and be proud,keep doing the right things,and it will all pay off. It takes time. No instant gratifications,,it all takes time.

[DohcBikes]

Why didn't you text me bro!?

Man I was with the love of my life for more than 8 years and she left me. I literally thought I was dying. Then I went to college. So should you.....

Do the good things you are doing, for YOURSELF Angelo. This chic don't want you, fine. I know it hurts like hell, but you gotta move on NOW. You have convinced yourself she's the one, but she isn't.

Along with Bill's advice that there are plenty chics out there, think about this too... you are YOUNG. There is no need to rush, trust me.

I always think about this. So you think you've found that one in a million girl,,, right there in your own neighborhood huh? Well I tell you what, the odds are stacked against everybody on that one bud.

Positive thoughts, positive outcome. I know you are going through hard times, legit. But a negative thought pattern will not help!!..

Don't get me wrong, I feel for you bro. Hit me up ANYTIME.

[slashfan7964]

What really angers me is that she was opening up for me. I know for a fact she was interested in me, had feelings and all that. She told me some dark stuff, and I put my full trust into her. I took things slow with her, to try and get her to come to me. She was very afraid to jump into anything; she was in an extremely abusive relationship for 3 years before this. She didn't know how to react to someone being nice to her.

What confuses me is how this guy comes into the picture. It has to be within the lsat week or so.

I'm just really hurt. DOHC I didn't even think to text you or anyone last night man...I stomred home, threw my hat, kicked my boots off and went to my room. I hit my bed and I lost it. I was yelling every cuss word at her I could think of on that long walk home. Longest walk of my life. She knew I was pissed and I'm so ticked off I don't even want to look at her let alone speak to her.

I'm sorry I'm laying this all out on you guys...just need to vent before I do something stupid. I can't believe after everything that she would do this to me. She couldn't get out of there fast enough. She saw me come down this ATV trail, turned around and immediatley picked her bro up, gathereed everyone and BOOKED it out of there. I followed for a bit, tried to make conversation; couldn't figure out why there was a guy there and then it hit me...and then she confirmed it with a couple actions and I was like AWE HELL NAW.

[oldskool83]

Sounds like s chick I knew. We were late 20s and doing things together riding and suck food normal stuff, some kissing more then friends not g/f b/f crap. One day I got a text saying she was going to date some other guy and couldn't go on our date...didn't sit well but then was pissed I ignored her and she started showing up like 2 months later, this went on an off for like 2 or 3 years I finally changed my number and permanently ignored her...

but what I did do was tell her in person one day after she dumped the guy she wanted to date that I liked her would like to be her b/f so she can either decide to date me and be a g/f or go fly a kite...

Do not waste a bunch of time on a chick that does not want to waste a bunch of time on you.

And the older they get the stupider they get also, keep that in the back of you mind. After 30 they are set in their ways and have no clue what they want because they didn't find it in their 20's

Good luck and stop being so nice to them, you can be there but they kinda need to come to you.

[briano]

She sounds like a beotch, run away quick. Could be worse, my buddy's wife of 6 years left him, she told him that she fell in love with his car when they were dating and never really had feelings for him. His fancy car and good job sure landed him a doozie.

[86T3]

Keep your chin up bud. Sounds like you tried to improve yourself for her by quitting some vices, my only advice is to not go back to drinking and smoking. Bad habits you pick up at a young age are very hard to quit when you get older. Keep improving yourself and the woman situation will get easier.

[slashfan7964]

Thanks guys, really means a lot.

It's given me strength to do something I've really wanted to do....go to tech school. I called the rep and we'll be scheduling a meeting for financial aid and various other things soon. Aiming to start classes in January.

I'm going to miss her a lot though. It's going to take time to recover. That image is burned into my eyes.

[DohcBikes]

There ya go slashfan7964, GYSOT!!! Just like i told ya, school was the best thing I ever did for myself.

Now that's a way buddy, to turn those negative thoughts to positive!! If you get the bad feelings, just text me. Now you have meetings to look forward to, several small races to run before you get all signed up and set up. All you gotta do is follow your Representatives advice and instructions, it is their job to get your ass in that seat at their school.

So,,, UNOH then!? Auto tech? Diesel Tech? What!?

[slashfan7964]

Yes UNOH. Aiming for their high performance division. That's what I do now as it is. I took 2 years of auto tech back in a trade school here at home. I might do a combination. Not entirely sure yet. Never cared for anything diesel though. Probably an idiot for not taking it as that's where the money is, but I'm doing this for myself.

[atc007]

If you are happy in what you are doing,you will never have to WORK. It is so true. Great job champ. Must have missed your email...

[slashfan7964]

That's why I picked the field I'm in. I've been told for my age I'm one hell of a mechanic but being depressed I tend not to believe what people tell me. Same with playing my guitar. I'm an absolute shredder but I think I'm terrible.

And yeah, I shot you one earlier this morning. Wasn't sure if you got it yet.

[DohcBikes]

If you are happy in what you are doing,you will never have to WORK. It is so true. Great job champ. Must have missed your email...

LOL see slash, told ya he was serious!!! An email from from Bill always brightens my day, he just seems to have a way.... Thanks for stepping up for the community Bill, as usual. Hey, I'll email ya this week too

Slash, one thing I do want to mention is that while waiting for the rep to advise you of your next step, don't despair. Some of the rougher times were just a couple days without hearing from my rep Larry. When he first talked to me, he asked if I had any concerns. I told him that my main worry was that I'd call and talk to him and still not end up in school, as I had done before because I didn't follow up. I was nearly crying when I told him this, so he knew I was serious in my concern. He said 'If you listen to me, and do the steps as I advise them, I PROMISE you that you will be in your seat by october'. There were some steps I didn't much care for, and some that didn't make sense, but I took his statement to heart and followed his instructions to the tee anyway. He delivered on his promise.

Stick with it.

[slashfan7964]

You got it bud. I need to get my mind off this. This is the only way I know how.

[atc007]

No email in my inbox or junk. Try again? Just your phone # will work.