A Farmer Named Clyde ................

[Howdy]

A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Clyde .


"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,?" asked the lawyer.

Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie..."

"I didn't ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?"

Clyde said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road....."

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud.

Please tell him to simply answer the question."

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde 's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie".

Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded.

"Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting, real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.

Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me and said, "How are you feeling?"

"Now what the heck would you say?"

[dizasterzrfun69]

Two men are in a pub and one is riding a Bucking Bronco Machine. He lasts over 10 minutes.
'Crikey mate, that was impressive!'
'I get lots of practice' replied the other guy. 'My wifes epileptic'

[outtaline]

A Canadian walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and sits down. The bartender says where did you get that the parrot says florida there everywhere

[ATC-Eric]

A rope walks into a restaurant and orders a soft drink.

The waitress says arent you a rope? The rope replies, "yes I am."

"Im sorry" said the waitress, "but we dont serve ropes here."

So the rope went outside, and tied himself into a knot, and shredded both ends of himself. He returned to the restaurant and again asked for a soft drink. The waitress said "arent you that rope again?" to which the rope replied "nope, Im afraid not."